love Funny Status Messages

   Ruby can finally take her love to town... guilt free.

   Socialism bad, unless I need it. Love Trump supporters.

   I'm so used to ending phone calls with family and friends by saying "I love you", that I accidentally said it to the female agent at Spectrum. Anyway, she gave me 6 months of free internet and HBO.

   We love taking our boys to adventure parks. It's a great way to spend $800 to listen to them complain about the weather and about how much they hate to stand in line.

   I like to leave myself sexy love notes in my lunches and act all surprised and giddy like "WHAAAAAT----NOT AGAIN!" and then proceed to read the note out loud as my co-workers look on in envy.

   what happens if the bachelor chooses to love himself

   Her: I love the picture of you in your bedroom. Me: It's IKEA. Her: You did a great job picking it all out! Me: No, I took that picture in IKEA.

   People say "love' is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.

   It's snowing! And I think I'll go outside now for 30 seconds to take a selfie so all my Facebook friends can see how much I love the snow.

   Happy Valintimes, as I love you more then I can express on a website sent by means of a plastic artificial intelligence device <3

   Don't be sad if you're alone on Saint Valentine's Day as it could be worse like how it turned out for poor Saint Valentine who for the love of a woman was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs.

   With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you're secretly in love with me and would like a candlelit dinner with flowers and candy, it's to late shell out all that money, but talk to me talk on the 15th and maybe next year.

   Next time a telemarketer calls, hit 'em with an "I love you" right off the bat. Just keep saying it, no matter what they say..

   Going forward I'm only saying I love you to cheeseburgers.

   If you're alone and sad for Valentine's Day, to make you feel better just remember that for the love of a woman Saint Valentine was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs :-)

   "A trail of clothes leading up to a bedroom before marriage ment a night of pashionate love making. Now it means you dropped them on your way from the dryer.

   I'm just saying if she's into metric then I'd love to meter

   Making love is like baking a cake...most men don't know how to work the stove

   It's not that I can't stand people who attend the University of Florida, it's that I can't stand the red-necks who love the Gators.

   If you love Christmas so much, why don't you marry it, Eve? What I'm trying to say is: Merry Christmas Eve.