Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Who loves you more; your wife or your dog? Try this test: Lock both of them in the basement for 24 hours. The next day when you open the door, which one will be happy to see you? There's your answer.

   Tic toc tic toc tic toc it will soon be MULLER TIME

   Now that Hugh Hefner has passed away, do the bunnies get the house?

   I see the same women that call Trump a pig..Praising Hugh Hefner tonight. I'll take stupid for $800 Alex

   From 10 to 250 and RISING.

   That old pervert is gone

   So....:it's not okay to have children deported, but it is okay to have them aborted? How does that make sense?!

   Hugh Hefner dead at 91.... =( Good thing he had so many reasons to keep it up for so long

   I took a knee today. My shoe was untied. It wasn't a statement. Just wanted to let everyone to know.

   Got some good financial news today. The kid I've been sponsoring in some third-world country got eaten by a lion.

   NASCAR, you will do as your told just like you were trained.

   NFL= NOT FOR LONG

   How can Trump have the nerve to take credit for inheriting the strong economy from Barack Obama. He haven't enacted his own budget.

   Question, can Donald Trump be charged with negligent homicide for his failure to do all possible to assist the citizens of Puerto Rico?

   I'm more excited than a long line of f@t ladies in the grocery store express lane that have their arms filled with Halo Top Diet Ice Cream on a buy one get one free special.

   NFL is seeing that disrespecting the flag is really bad for business...it's causing division & no unity! The left is NEVER morally correct!

   Hillary got rich by selling her power...Donald got rich by earning it!

   Tweet others the same way you want them to tweet you.

   Draft dodgers always have the most to say about patriotism in an attempt to clear their guilty conscience.

   Trump's lack of empathy about Puerto Rico is staggering.