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So a high school 1st year asked me if I knew the symbol compound of Hydrogen Sodium....I said NaH...
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03-07-2018 05:58
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Common sense is like a deodorant.......The people who need it most never use it..
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03-07-2018 05:58
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Being stuck in the'' friend zone'' is like a potential employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he eventually hired
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03-07-2018 05:57
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if I pay Netflix each month & choose to watch Star Trek, am I paying a DATA plan?
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03-06-2018 23:13 by
Eddy
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When asked why he was wearing a tuxedo to his vasectomy. Tyrone said, well if I'm gona be impotent, I might as well look impotent.
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03-06-2018 17:32 by
Jake
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My parents would not let me watch any violent movies. Instead we played board games with questions like "Who murdered this guy with a candlestick?"
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03-06-2018 12:38
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This is Assumption Club. I think we all know why we are here.
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03-06-2018 12:34
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Today I am contemplating how much longer I would live if someone shouted "Run for your life!"
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03-06-2018 12:30
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I raised my daughter to believe she can do anything but that did not include eating cheesecake in the shower
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03-06-2018 12:22
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Wild horses could not drag me away from this lasagna dinner because they lack opposible thumbs and organizational skills
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03-06-2018 12:20
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My wife is a teacher. If they issue her a gun I will be dead by Thursday.
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03-06-2018 12:14
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Anyone know how Pink's parents are named? I am assuming Red and White.
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03-06-2018 12:12
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If you eat at McDonald's, I doubt fresh vs frozen beef is your biggest concern...
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03-06-2018 08:50
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I didn't give anything up for Lent. I just gave up.
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03-06-2018 08:42
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So it's been reported that Trevor Baylis has passed away? Is this a wind up?
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03-06-2018 03:58 by
Truman
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When I found out that the sperm bank paid for donations. I realised that I had let a fortune slip through my fingers.
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03-05-2018 23:41 by
Jake
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Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got five fingers, and just one is for you.
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03-05-2018 23:35 by
Jake
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We need to make guns illegal, like we did with drugs. You can’t find that stuff anywhere nowadays.
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03-05-2018 21:44
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My wife is like a peach. She too has a hart of stone.
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03-05-2018 13:49 by
Jake
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I carry a picture of my wife in my wallet. It helps me remember why there is no money in it.
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03-05-2018 13:47 by
Jake
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