love Funny Status Messages

   I'll never forget the first time my son said "I love you, Dad!" He was talking to the mailman, BUT how cute is that?

   I'll know love when I see it. That's why I refuse to get corrective lenses.

   It's hard to pretend you love someone when you don't, but it's harder to pretend you don't love someone when you really do.

   I love watching my husband sleep so peacefully. It gives me time to plot all the ways I can take him out should the time come someday.

   There is a thin line between love and hate. It starts about halfway through the joint.

   Love is blind but hate has perfect 20/20 vision.

   I just don't understand my next door neighbor. She keeps going on about how she'd love to be a contestant on a reality show, but she went mental when she found out I'd put cameras all over her house.

   Nothing says "Love" like having a ShamWow tossed at your genitals after having sex.

   "For the love of honey!" - Grizzly bear

   I met the love of my life at Starbucks. She was beautiful, but I knew I had to drink her eventually.

   Pro tip: Before you tell her that you love her, make sure you're not horny, drunk, lonely, desperate, sad, angry, bored or hungry.

   If you're not in love right now, you're wasting valuable time!

   Ladies; True Love is when he holds your hair back while you're giving him a bl0wjob.

   Don't you love it when your iPod is about to fall, and your earphones save it's life?

   I love taking the grocery store up on their offer to carry my groceries out to my car for me

   Don't call me " bae " " baby " " babe " or " love " unless I'm the ONLY ONE you're calling that.

   Make love to a woman's mind, and her body will follow in kind

   I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend until the acid wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Walmart parking lot.

   You're thin, entertaining, I love staying up all night with you and falling asleep by your side. I love you laptop.

   I'd love to make money at home in my spare time. But counterfeiting is harder than you'd think.