Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 808 of 6383
If white privilege exists, then why did Senator Warren have to pretend to be an Indian?
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12-01-2017 10:17 by Blackmail
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This is probably not the year to hang mistletoe around the workplace.
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12-01-2017 09:18 by MarkM
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The Denver Broncos today announced Al Bundy as their new starting Quarterback.
Teacher said taking responsibility is key to being an adult and she asked what’s wrong today and who do we blame?
Student (7th grade) - I blame all of us for Nov 8th, 2016.
Sums it up right!
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11-30-2017 08:37 by Harry
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Today's relationships, you can touch each other but not each others phones
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11-30-2017 04:02
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I've learnt one very interesting thing about money......It doesn't buy "CLASS" no matter how many millions of it you have got
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11-30-2017 04:02
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Man kneeling by the bed, Wife says,"What are you praying for? " Husband says: "Guidance. " Wife says, "Pray for stiffness, I'll guide the damn thing myself!"
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11-30-2017 04:01
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This is the greatest prank Ellen Degeneres has ever played on Matt Lauer
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11-29-2017 18:45
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I just got flipped-off from a guy in a Smart Car, he almost tipped over his car
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11-29-2017 15:57
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I wonder if Charles Manson ever got ashes on Ash Wednesday to cover up that swastika.
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11-29-2017 14:29
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You seem like the kind of person who pickles things in their free time.
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11-29-2017 14:01
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Many women don't know this, but an ugly guy asking you out ISN'T considered sexual harassment. Just saying...
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11-29-2017 14:01
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As long as you yell "DODGEBALL" you're allowed to throw anything at anyone at anytime.
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11-29-2017 14:00
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This quilt would get done a lot faster if the guy behind me would stop beeping his horn
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11-29-2017 13:58
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I need Google street view in real-time for better stalking...Sorry I mean bird watching.
If you try to show me your family vacation photos I swear I'm going to report you to HR.
Supporters cheer Roy Moore as he runs naked through a mall, his genitals concealed by various amusingly phallic objects
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11-29-2017 13:40
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Dog food is just regular food that you dropped on the floor
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11-29-2017 13:40
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You look like the kind of person who replies to a meme with a meme
commercial: get one diamond for your best friend, and one for your true love me: why would my dog want a diamond
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11-29-2017 13:38
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