Exercise Funny Status Messages

   Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government

   I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

   opening a gym called Resolutions in January. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50

   If it weren't for the fact that my bed is so far away from my computer, some days I wouldn't exercise at all.

   whenever I say the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

   Time for the shake weight exercise, minus the shake weight.

   Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.

   I count breathing as exercise.

   I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply.

   Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

   I always feel tricked into exercise when I peel an orange.

   I don't like exercise so I'm not going to walk a mile in your shoes....I'll judge you standing right here!!!!!

   Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?

   if swimming is great exercise, explain whales to me?

   Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better

   Everyone's always competing for the best weight loss plan, I got it right here: Turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat exercise when offered something to eat. #legit

   omg I just found out I'm allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!

   Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

   I want to go to prison....I hear the exercise program there is AWESOME!!!

   Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left now turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.