Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 786 of 6383
He floated like a butterfly and stung like a bee......Happy Birthday.....to the LEGENDARY Man Muhammad Ali
←Rate |
01-18-2018 04:38
Comments (0)
My wife and I got one of those board games for couples to spice things up. It quickly turned into a game of Sorry, which led to me playing a game of Uno
←Rate |
01-18-2018 04:37
Comments (0)
Someone should invent an alarm clock that automatically reports you sick when you've pressed snooze 3 times
←Rate |
01-18-2018 04:37
Comments (0)
I just wonder when they are going to post the videos of the new teen challenge "blow off your left leg challenge" or the new "decapitate yourself challenge"
←Rate |
01-18-2018 01:42 by Cyndi
Comments (3)
When we first ment on a blind date my girlfriend wasn't that interested in me. Untill she saw me lick my eyebrows.
←Rate |
01-17-2018 21:02 by Jake
Comments (0)
Somewhere in Michigan an 8-year-old boy farted half a beat before that meteor set off an earthquake. It was the greatest moment of his life.
←Rate |
01-17-2018 19:51
Comments (0)
There were no Tide pods back in my day....we just ate it by the scoop like maniacs
←Rate |
01-17-2018 18:35
Comments (0)
I mix my Tide Pods with Red Bull so I get the benefit of clean energy.......
←Rate |
01-17-2018 17:29
Comments (0)
Are we really that bored and stupid as a country that the “Tide Pod Challenge “ is even a thing? Wtf
←Rate |
01-17-2018 12:49 by Cicci
Comments (10)
Maybe, just maybe, if more teenagers got their mouths washed out with soap as a child by their parents, these idiots wouldn't be attempting a "Tide Pod Challenge" .....
←Rate |
01-17-2018 11:02
Comments (0)
Word of the day: Ididarod - Monica Lewinski's autobiography.
←Rate |
01-17-2018 08:27
Comments (0)
Common sense is so rare this days, it should almost be classified as a superpower
←Rate |
01-17-2018 03:24
Comments (0)
World population :7,618,921,693. .... Just in case someone starts feeling too important
←Rate |
01-17-2018 03:24
Comments (0)
Every office should have a Parliament mode, when you don't wanna work, start shouting and go home
←Rate |
01-17-2018 03:23
Comments (0)
Big moment here: I just finished building that gingerbread house for the holidays.
←Rate |
01-16-2018 21:52
Comments (0)
OK, it's official. Tide Pods don't taste anywhere near as good as they look. (Don't ask me how I know this...)
←Rate |
01-16-2018 21:51
Comments (0)
No thanks. 5 hours of energy sounds way too upsetting.
←Rate |
01-16-2018 21:41
Comments (0)
PLease don't talk to me about the weather. I recorded this season of The Weather Channel all week and haven't had time to watch it yet.
←Rate |
01-16-2018 21:27
Comments (0)
Back in my day we didn't have pods, we had Dry Powder, and we liked it.
←Rate |
01-16-2018 21:23
Comments (0)
Mom raised me to believe saying "Shut up" was the worst thing you could say to someone, but I knew I could be so much more
←Rate |
01-16-2018 21:18
Comments (0)