Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   After a news briefing outside the white house. trump and president Macron walked away holding hands. What's up with that

   Well, looking like Bill Cosby's gonna get to meet Fat Albert, for realz.

   Free to a good home. My Bill Cosby vinyl collection.

   Random Person: "It's hard to to get people to unfollow me on Twitter." Kayne West: "Hold my beer.".

   Kim: Honey, I haven’t heard your name in the news for over a week! Quick, say or do something stupid! Kanye: Hold my beer...

   Hi ho hi ho off to jail Bill goes

   4/26 Happy 48th birthday Melania

   My wife is losing it, she told me she was seeing someone behind my back. But when I turn around there wasn't anyone there.

   They pudding Bill Cosby in prison

   Mrs. Huxtable is not gonna be pleased.

   hey! hey! hey! - Bill Cosby after spiking a woman's drink.

   I bet Batman’s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he’s willing to admit.

   Ostriches can’t fly, but mostly because they can’t figure out airline luggage rules.

   I get paid to be nice to people at work. Why does everybody expect me to do it for free on my own time?

   Just once I would like to cross my I's and dot my T's

   Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson just had a baby girl and did not name her 'Pebble.'

   I have learned to protect myself against identity theft by keeping a low credit score and no money.

   Some young millennial social justice warrior told me I need to check my white privilege. OK. I checked. I'm white and feel privileged to be so. I'm done here.

   There's a reason why Kayne West is broke.

   When I first heard of 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' I initially thought it was supposed to be a Star Trek show about the Klingon rivals...