santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Why are you informing me how many shopping days left until Christmas? I'm not getting anything for you anyway!

   if you are posting how many days there are until Christmas in November, you should have to do all the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner.

   my neighbors put their Christmas decorations up early, so I put my Easter stuff out just to one-up them.

   Oh yes Gwyneth Paltrow, you are so very country strong. I guess being born in LA, going to private school NYC and attending college in Santa Barbara really prepared ya.

   Wow, Christmas parties invitations are starting to arrive... grrrr... shut up liver!

   Every year Santa runs over Grandma with his Reindeer. I wonder if I give him extra cookies if he would aim for my ex wife this year instead?

   The Christmas cheer has begun.... American Express commercials just announced if you use their card ...they'll donate ONE SHINY PENNY to charity...... is there any way to spend LESS,,,, nice JOB AMEX

   Merry Christmas! oh, its not evern thanksgiving yet? well, how about we forward that memo to the stores, cause its beginning to look alot like christmas..EVERYWHERE I GO!

   Remember, a doggie isn't just for Christmas... it's a f-kin good position all year round!

   OK Santa I guess your going to celebrate thanksgiving also

   its not Christmas time yet and Starbucks is holiday happy. We still have to get though thanksgiving people.

   - Little boy writes to Santa: Please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: Ok, send me your mother.

   The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

   I'll be spending most of today putting Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.

   wants a dirty picture of you so I can add it to my Xmas wishlist to send to Santa

   Whoo yooh A suicide book..got my mother in laws christmas present..};-)

   ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.

   Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween, stood next to the Easter Bunny, and handed out eggs......

   Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween and handed out candy..........

   will not be making any Christmas related status updates until December