bego Funny Status Messages

   You're like a Password. Hard to figure out, but I always want to keep trying.

   Practice being nice, so that when you really need to be....it's not so hard.

   Dear food commercials, Nobody eats in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people.

   Dear Facebook, thanks for reminding me why moving away from my hometown was the best decision ever.

   1:00pm *Hears noise* "Hmm I wonder what that was..." 1:00am *Hears noise* "OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO BE MURDERED!"

   This beer tastes like I'm not waking up until the afternoon.

   We all have that friend that acts innocent, but is very naughty

   The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you're watching.

   Facebook is the leading cause to cell phone battery deaths.

   Ghetto pronunciation: Bathroom = Baafrumm, Refrigerator = Fridgerataa, Remote = Moken Troll.

   Friend: "Whats a good movie?" Me: "Snakes on a plane" Friend: "Whats it about?" Me: "Horses... horses on a boat"

   There's too many people out here who have the balls to state their opinion. But not enough balls to be that person who makes ish happen.

   Dudes that are upset because instagram is now available on Android are prolly the same dudes who pees while sitting down.

   Coffee is nature's way of saying “Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!”

   The only thing worse than girls going after the "Bad Boy" is today's perception of what a Bad Boy is.

   Note to Self: Wearing headphones do not make my farts silent.

   Trying to find a good time to tell my dog he is adopted...

   Did anyone else know that "Fes" from That 70's Shows' name stands for (F)oreign (E)xchange (S)tudent

   When I say ‘it's a long story', it doesn't mean it's actually a long story. It means I just don't want to tell you.

   LIKE if you remember having to REWIND a video before you returned it.