santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   LOCAL CHICKEN FARMER HIRING STAFF FOR XMAS, $ 19.50 HR. I told them about your experience handling c*ck, you start Monday......

   ♪ ♫ ♬ Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree, you have more balls than me-ee. ♪ ♫ ♬

   Dear radio stations. I appreciate that you waited until after Thanksgiving to start in with the Christmas music... but could you tone it down a little bit? You're gonna kill it for me if it goes on like this for a month. Thank you

   My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today. I bet he's pissed that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.

   I asked my kid, “Do you know why we have a Thanksgiving holiday?” He said, “Sure! It's so we know when to start Christmas shopping!”

   I've got Christmas spirit!! I just hung a little Christmas tree air freshener in my car.....ahhhhh smells like the holidays

   Christmas came early!!! Happy EIGHTEENTH Birthday Miley!!!

   Are the people that leave their Christmas lights on the house and just turn them on in December smart or just plain lazy??

   A man basically goes through three phases in his life... He believes in Santa Claus...He doesn't believe in Santa Claus...He is Santa Claus.

   already on the naughty list. Santa... I can explain.

   I wonder if I tell my kids I'm calling Santa, will work after Christmas too!

   I'm having a Deja vu of Christmas posts

   Since you're asking....I want a mistletoe belt buckle for Christmas.

   Don't you find those people who keep updating how many days to christmas annoying? Anyway it's 37 days to christmas.

   I just got my wifes Christmas gift. I hid it in the oven. She will never find it there!

   says This Christmas, let's put misteltoe in our back pockets so all the people who hate us can kiss our..."

   ...just heard that Tampax is replacing the strings with tinsel this month. ...Ladies, get them soon, supplies only last for the Christmas period!"

   may not be the real Santa, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen you while you're sleeping."

   Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!"

   Dear Santa.... All I want is access to that "bad boy's" list of yours.