santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Hates putting lights on the Christmas tree, she feels like an elf being punished for being to tall

   After countless days of research I have solved the mystery.....When Santa says HO! HO! HO!...He is thinking of last name of his 3 favorite naughty sisters...Ima, Ivana, and Anita...

   Everyday I hear people say they would to take a break and get some fresh air. So, this year I'm wrapping some up in boxes and giving as Christmas gifts.

   This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's christmas list.

   I was excited to bring home my Xmas Tree but I didn't have the heart to tell it I'd be leaving it in the street for dead in just a few weeks.

   My girlfriend made me promise that when I fly home this Christmas it was her that I fantasized about during my "TSA pat down"

   You'll know I'm your "Secret Santa" when you dont get anything!

   Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :)

   Score ! I just bought my wife a 20 pound bag of Diamonds for Christmas......well they're diamonds in the rough...... maybe EARLY stage diamonds...... but with enough time and pressure......they will be diamonds......Thanks Kingsford !

   Every Christmas Eve my family tries to break the record of number of people stuffed into one kitchen.

   Inbox me your Bank Account or Credit Card number and I will post in my status which bill I paid with it or which Christmas gift I purchased. This is one numbers game I will play.

   So...I met this really nice girl at closing time last night. Granted, she's missing both her front teeth but Christmas is coming, right?!? I think it can work...

   In order to refrain from spending too much on Christmas, I'm voluntarily placing myself in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.

   Here's an idea for Christmas; Give children batteries with a note saying toys not included!!! lol

   Santa calls me a Ho three times when he sees me. Like he knows me or somethin...

   Attention Please: Christmas has been canceled. Apparently when you told Santa you've been good this year, he died laughing.

   Dear Santa, Last year I asked for and received your list of naughty girls, It was fun but I think I am past that point in my life. This year I would like to receive your list of good girls with naughty tendencies!

   My Christmas tree looks like Hell. I can get away with it though, because I'm a guy.

   Dear Santa .all I want for Xmas is ur naughty list.

   Dear Santa, Can we talk about this? I'm so sick and tired being on that list. I'm just having fun.