love Funny Status Messages

   There's no worse feeling than lying next to the person you love and they don't know you love them. Or that you're in their house again.

   When I say I love you, I do it with the same amount of sincerity with which a celebrity claims he loves all his fans. Zero.

   "I love it when you rub your happiness in my face & facebook" said no one ever.

   "SWAG" LOL....I love to know where words originate from and in the 1960's a group of men came up with the term "SWAG"....it's meaning Secretly We Are G@y!! True story!! So go get your SWAG on and please post on FB everytime you do so I can laugh at you!!

   11 year olds today: "Omg I love smokin pot. I get like so drunk. Yolo!" Me when I was 11: "I can't wait to go home and play Club Penguin!

   Was it wrong to wear a "I love happy endings" t-shirt to massage envy?

   Sex might satisfy, food might fuel, love might sustain, but without booze, what is the point?

   I love cooking for my man because it makes me feel both independent and oppressed at the same time.

   Love doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be true.

   I would love to agree with you, but there is no point in both of us being wrong.

   I love when you go to get a massage and they ask you where it hurts and you start crying cause it's your entire existence.

   Being in love is the smartest way of being stupid.

   Oh, the things I do for love...like lie to the police concerning my whereabouts the night of August 4th...

   As of today, I've been married to my best friend for 10 amazing years. Love you, sweetie! Is she gone? OMG, you guys, I'm being smothered.

   It's really very simple; I will love you unconditionally as long as you just do everything I say.

   Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger, but now I love you.

   Do what you love, but run like hell as soon as you hear the sirens.

   I wish I loved anything as much as people in yogurt commercials love eating yogurt.

   I love wanking in the shower but I've been told that if I do it again, they're gonna revoke my gym membership.

   If Facebook has proved ANYTHING, it's that the love of your life is someone you've never actually met.