santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Santa is too real! I saw him outside the liquor store last night and he smells of Bourbon and Marlboros.

   Fricken spellcheck. Looks like Santa will be bringing me a nice piece of glass this year.

   I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping. I took my girlfriend into 8 different pubs without a drink, and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.

   All I want for Christmas is a Komodo Dragon named Pookie.

   Christmas shopping is a pain in the cash.

   I asked my daughter to make a list of things she wants from Santa, and her reply was "I don't need to make Santa a wish list, daddy. He's been watching me all year...he knows what I want!" I'm &#%ked.

   My Dad asked me what I wanted for Xmas tonight. I told him a gift certificate from Adam and Eve so I could get that swing set. He said he thought the kids were a bit old for it but he said he would look it up online. Boy is he in for a surprise.....

   I'm so broke after Christmas shopping this New Year's I'm gonna party like it's $19.99.

   Just signed all my Facebook friends up for free samples of Astroglide. Happy Holidays!

   Xmas is derived from a mixture of Greek and English. Greeks used X as the symbol for Chi, Christo or Xristo. X is the Greek symbol for Christ. In early Christian times, X was used as the symbol for Christ himself.

   For those who are upset when they see the word Xmas, just know that the Old English word (12th Century) for Christmas begins with X. The Greek word for Christ (which the English word derives) begins with the Greek letter "chi", or X. So its use is proper

   Am I being picky when I say "Please leave 'Christ' in Christmas"? I know it's a little thing, but, by writing 'X-mas' it seems to me that we are taking out the whole reason we even celebrate this holiday just to save a few key strokes . Just my opinion of

   I'll be 127.0.0.1 for Christmas

   This Christmas I'm gonna party like it's $19.99.....

   Lovin my early Christmas present of a Massage Chair! Work never felt so good!.. Now if someone would just invent a vibrating tampon I could start lovin my periods too

   hasn't bought a single Christmas gift yet.

   dreaming of a 'backcolor=#FFFFFF' Christmas.

   If you can read this, chances are you won't be recieving a gift from me this Christmas. Happy Holidays!

   We are seeing some hard times. Even Santa's feeling the pinch, I hear he's down to just one Ho!

   Santa Claus uses slave labor. The elves are beaten every time a toy breaks. They have tried to organize, but Santa always sends in a goon squad to disrupt them. If you are against elf abuse and support their right to organize, please change your profile p