Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 722 of 6446

It’s so cute when billionaire philanthropists donate less than 1%. Bless their hearts.
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09-14-2018 04:46 by RyanRyan
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Bean bag chairs are venus fly traps for anyone over 40
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09-14-2018 01:25
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I felt naughty asking for my latte to be extra frothy
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09-14-2018 00:59
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I always give fat people wrong directions so they can get much needed exercise.
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09-14-2018 00:56
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Welcome to your 40's. You get horny anywhere, anytime. Without warning.
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09-14-2018 00:16
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This guy at work said not to use (SSD) solid state drives because if they get infected with malware it spreads faster.
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09-13-2018 19:22
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Come on people, drink a cup of Folgers and wake up.
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09-13-2018 17:25 by IDTN
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Most people write congrats because they don't know the spelling of congrajulashions
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09-13-2018 13:45
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If you send an e-mail to someone in jail, are you allowed to attach a file?
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09-13-2018 13:23
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We need a reality show where Flat-Earthers attempt to find the edge of the planet.
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09-13-2018 11:56
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What if you are an atheist, and you're stuck behind a guy with a "Honk if You Love Jesus" bumper sticker at a traffic light?
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09-13-2018 07:22
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What to do when your partner is snoring? Simply push them off the bed with your feet and shout, “Did you feel that earthquake” when they fall to the floor.
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09-13-2018 01:06
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I'm watching the hurricane coverage on the weather channel. I hate to be insensitive but, can anyone really pay attention to what the officials are saying when the sign language lady is flailing about?
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09-12-2018 21:26 by Timk
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I read this article earlier..that said.."cows have four stomachs"...and I wondered if anyone had checked this?..because it sounds like the sort of thing a cow would come out with to get more food?
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09-12-2018 20:39 by Truman
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9/13 Happy birthday Milton Hershey, thank you for the Hershey bar. Also is Scooby Doo day.
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09-12-2018 20:26
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Weather forecasters have identified yet another tropical depression in the Atlantic Region which could potentially grow into a mega storm of epic proportions. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has appropriately named it Common Core Math
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09-12-2018 14:33 by Jsabbage
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Hurricane Florence is really really big. Lots of water, wet wet water. Most people don't know that. Just like they didn't know Puerto Rico was an island, surrounded by water, wet water.
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09-12-2018 09:08 by lilDonny
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The only difference between brown nosing and butt kissing is depth perception.
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09-12-2018 06:53
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Remember me in your Prayers like you do in your Gossips.
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09-12-2018 06:28 by raman911
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The sequel to the book Fear willbe TEARS he's still president.
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09-12-2018 05:49
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