Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A fun thing to do is to call someone & say "HI THIS IS BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO YOUR VHS RENTAL OF NEW JACK CITY IS 1,382 DAYS PAST DUE"

   So PETA is putting down pet cats and recruiting hot babes to protest naked...I guess I need to take the protest against them to a new level.

   How the HELL did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?

   At a blood bank, a nurse extracts the blood. Wouldn't it be nice if the nurse at the sperm bank did the extractions too?

   Had an absolutely amazing dream last night I feel could change mine and quite possibly millions of other people's lifes forever! if I could just remember what it was about?

   If you think about it, a boxing match is really just someone trying to count to 10 but they're constantly being interrupted by a fistfight between two other people.

   'Sometimes, being hurt too many times, doesn't make you stronger, it destroy who you were, who you wanted to be and makes who you are today.''

   Whenever I see someone I don't know wearing what look like pajamas in public I always wonder, have they completely given up on life or are they living it to the fullest!?

   Somewhere at this moment there is a masseuse with a ring from Super Bowl XXXVI walking into a Pawn Shop.

   Remix to conviction.. hot and ready for prison..R. Kelly

   Too many of environmentally friendly philosophers in the world and not enough people willing to bend over to pick up a piece of garbage.

   "Thank-you Robert Kraft and R. Kelly!" - Jussie Smollett

   I guess winning the Super Bowl wasn't the happy ending Robert Kraft was looking for.

   Not to worry Kraft. At least you're not Chicago.

   Robert Kraft's prostitution arrest. Voluntary exchange of sex and compensation between consenting adults. Kinda like marriage.

   Robert Kraft: From Super Bowl Ring to Prostitution Ring

   Belichick= Spygate. Brady= Deflategate. Kraft= Tailgate

   Hey Jussie, everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it.

   In unrelated news Julian Edleman and Tom Brady have just checked in to couples therapy...

   My Chinese pal is very upset about Peter Tork, and has been muttering "I'm a bereaver" all day?