Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 653 of 6446

if you have to use a snapchat filter for over half of your Facebook pictures, you know you're ugly
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05-19-2019 16:32 by Eddy
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We were lucky that we didnt have Exit Polls during our school times.Otherwise, our parents would have started thrashing us 3-4 days in advance of results
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05-19-2019 15:35
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spoiler alert...tonight HBO dies
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05-19-2019 12:53 by Eddy
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So, if a cow doesn't produce milk, does that make it a Milk Dud or an Udder Failure?
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05-19-2019 11:37
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I can’t wait for the day when all the DJ Khaled fans turn 30 years old. Music today absolutely blows and he’s the leader. Just because you can push a button and yell a random phrase like “go n get it” does not make you an artist.
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05-19-2019 00:36 by Cicci
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If you think you can win me over with just food music and a pretty face your damn right!
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05-18-2019 09:37 by Moon
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Now the women of Alabama are pissed off at the governor and threatens to votes Dems next time. Greatest reality show ever!
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05-17-2019 11:39
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Spoiler Alert: Penny strangles Sheldon to death on the last episode of The Big Bang Theory.
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05-16-2019 22:03 by Cicci
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If I were a cosmetic surgeon my slogan would be, "We can change your bottom line"
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05-16-2019 16:00
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Each and every time I hear someone say "Each and every..." I think, "How superfluous".
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05-16-2019 15:58
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When I was younger I wanted to play guitar really badly. And after lots of hard work and practice, I now play the guitar really badly.
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05-16-2019 14:46 by DJJackson
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Goo Goo Dolls are opening for Lady Gaga. Fans are sure to go Goo Goo Gaga over it.
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05-16-2019 12:47 by DJJackson
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A woman knocked on my door collecting for a feminist organization. So I gave her some Razors.
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05-15-2019 08:16
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How sad it must be when people have no choice but to believe the nonsense that scientists have devoted their entire lives to deceiving you...
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05-14-2019 15:53
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If I could time travel I'd go to my funeral and take names of people who seemed to be handling it a little too well.
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05-14-2019 14:21
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It's not always the one that got away that troubles me the most, as sometimes it's the one that won't go away.
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05-14-2019 13:37 by moon
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Putin has an amazing slap shot in the hockey game he played. Meaning you'll get slapped and then shot if you don't let him score.
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05-13-2019 23:49
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I don't know why but I always end up making just a little bit too much spaghetti for myself to eat. Anyways, if anyone's hungry come on over. And bring like five friends.
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05-13-2019 21:17 by Moon
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Casinos,steaks,universities,a brand of Vodka and now our country. Open your eyes people.
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05-13-2019 20:13
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If you don't smile and show everyone your teeth when you're eating Oreos then you're probably more mature than me.
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05-13-2019 11:47
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