Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 646 of 6382
Bet if the block voters wore MAGA hats, they would not of had a problem registering to vote.
←Rate |
10-20-2018 02:09
Comments (0)
The guy in charge of running the election (kemp) in Georgia is also running in the Georgia election. Mmmm I wonder who will win ?
←Rate |
10-20-2018 01:56
Comments (1)
Come on people, does your vote really count? Or is it just a big con?
←Rate |
10-20-2018 01:45
Comments (1)
I’m going as Alexa for Halloween this year and answering every question with, “Sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you right now.”
←Rate |
10-19-2018 19:50
Comments (0)
I like when people call me "Sir." I just wish they wouldn't follow it up with "You're making a scene."
←Rate |
10-19-2018 14:49
Comments (0)
I often get a "yes" from women, but it's usually followed by,
"that's him officer"
←Rate |
10-19-2018 12:04 by Truman
Comments (0)
Rihanna turned down an opportunity to headline the halftime show at #SuperBowlLIII how ever they can still broadcast it on her forehead
←Rate |
10-19-2018 10:08
Comments (0)
If you feel "blessed" because you have a lot of stuff, you obviously don't understand the meaning of "blessed."
←Rate |
10-19-2018 06:41
Comments (0)
well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
If you sit on the toilet at 1159pm and the clock strikes midnight, it is the same crap different day.
←Rate |
10-18-2018 03:51
Comments (0)
You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
←Rate |
10-18-2018 03:28 by Crewz
Comments (0)
Note to our friends from the south ,The Canadian Word EH! has been replaced with WAH ? Stay stoned my friends .
←Rate |
10-17-2018 18:22
Comments (0)
Whenever someone says, "I think of you as family," I always assume they're gonna start screaming at me for something that happened 20-30 years ago...
←Rate |
10-17-2018 15:18
Comments (0)
Having a child is like having a little broke ass best friend!
←Rate |
10-17-2018 13:37 by Stevielea
Comments (1)
Whenever I ride on an enclosed water slide I can't help but wonder if this is what it would feel like to be flushed down the toilet
←Rate |
10-16-2018 10:41
Comments (0)
My Bank Account probabbly thinks I am Dead 😢
←Rate |
10-16-2018 00:04
Comments (1)
Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?..... Because neither one of them had a mother in-law.
←Rate |
10-15-2018 22:12 by Haha
Comments (0)
Don't accept any friend requests from Taco Bell.. they're nacho friends
←Rate |
10-15-2018 21:12
Comments (0)
Having some memory problems? Should we call for a doctor?
←Rate |
10-15-2018 15:03
Comments (0)
Using my feet to lift toilet seats or push the flush handle at public restrooms has helped hone my ninja like skills.
←Rate |
10-15-2018 14:41
Comments (0)