Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   putting his left foot in and taking his left foot out - but he is NOT doing the hokie pokie

   going off the rails on a crazy train

   bringing sexy back? honey your the reason sexy left in the first place!

   about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself..

   out walking her pet fish

   "writing this to entertain the losers who take the time to actually read what others ""status"" is"

   going to the dark side...they have candy

   riding ponies outside Wal-Mart. . .I need quarters

   a mystery you'll never solve

   havingtrou blewithhis spacebar.

   "wondering what flavor milkshake ""brings all the boys to the yard"""

   poking you with a spork

   walking through the intensive care unit dressed as the grim reaper

   the one who stole the frigg'n cookie from the cookie jar. Now shut up!

   "never on schedule, but always on time."

   doing the truffle shuffle

   "not the issue here, Dude."

   200 degrees (that's why they call him Mr. Fahrenheit [he's traveling at the speed of light]).

   carbon based.

   an unlicensed helicopter pilot.