Funny Status Messages

   suddenly has an urge to go for a balloon ride over Colorado.

   What have a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken got in common, By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have is a Hot Stinky Box to throw your bone in.

   in the balloon. It was supposed to be a secret mission.

   certaintly.. not in a balloon at this moment

   Some call it Murder....I call it Annulment by Vacation on a Cruise ship......

   my blond sister jus texted me and asked what does "idk" stand for? I said I dont know. she said OMG! nobody does!

   the coolest thing to hit the street since ice

   wishes I could measure how much of my life has passed me by while I played with my iPhone. . . Maybe there's an app for that.

   wonders why people think squirrels are cute. They are after all, a rodent like a rat except they have a fuzzy tale.

   Due to an increasing number of terrified friends, I'm going to have to change my profile picture !!!

   loves to go to Washington - if only to be near his money.

   thinks it's unbelievable how pretentious some cat owners are. I could never be like that with my Dostoevsky!

   has just got back from the future...........You wouldn't believe how many blades they have on razors!

   not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am...

   If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

   If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

   Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

   thinks scare-crows should get Nobel prizes because they are out standing in their field

   likes to fill up the bath, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's jus been hit.

   What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?.....The cold shoulder.