Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6271 of 6373
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wondering if he's the only one who thinks the lady who got attacked by a chimp and showed her face on Oprah looks like a teenage mutant ninja turtle
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11-12-2009 08:56 by Yaj
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flying without wings... after discovering beans and onion together~
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11-12-2009 08:45 by Juliete
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I'll tell you something about Lapinski. When she gets a gas bill, she writes all over it with a thick black felt tip, THIS DOES NOT EXIST, and sends it to the gas board
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Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius
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11-12-2009 01:28 by Pineapple
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make love, not babies.
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11-12-2009 00:04
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THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING EARTH ON FRIDAY. THEIR PLAN IS TO KIDNAP ALL THE BEAUTIFUL & SEXY PEOPLE.. DONT WORRY, YOU'RE SAFE... I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE, PLEASE CHECK IN ON MY MOTHER IN LAW EVERY NOW AND THEN
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11-11-2009 22:01
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If you add me as your friend and I ignore you.....Do move on it's just facebook. Don't change your name and profile picture and add me again! The request will still be ignored! I still know it's you!
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11-11-2009 21:07
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I got my free meal from Applebee's today, it was good to see fellows Vets of all ages getting it in. Although I swear some of them old guys look like the may hay survived the war of 1812 I'm glad we enjoyed it together. Now who's pouring free DRINKS for u
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what's the difference between 'Live Feed' and 'News Feed?' Isn't all the news supposed to be Live!!!
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11-11-2009 17:56 by Danmanz
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-If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
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11-11-2009 17:31
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you can have a warm glass of shut the hell up, now you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep....your in my world now grandma!!
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11-11-2009 17:25
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going to The Regal Beagle tonight with Janet and Chrissy. Larry will meet us later. When we get together, shenanigans will soon follow.
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Single and ready for Rumble!
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11-11-2009 16:44
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to work because the kids need new leg irons.
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Wonders who the first idiot was that tried out a Shark proof suit?
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11-11-2009 13:54
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On Saturday night the House narrowly passed the healthcare bill. They say the reason it passed was because Nancy Pelosi didn't blink. But she hasn't blinked since what, 1982?
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11-11-2009 13:31
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a war baby. My parents took one look at me and started fighting
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dont waste ur breth on me sweetie, ull have2 blow up ur date later.
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that people think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
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Leave Me Alone! I Am Not Being Rude, It's Just That You Are Insignificant