Funny Status Messages

   it's ok to kiss a fool, it's ok to let a fool kiss you, but never let a kiss fool you.

   You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"

   life isn't a garden, stop being a hoe.

   I'll take "Things that a crackhead would steal" for $600, Alex.

   trying to figure out this "cook book of life". I got the ingredients... I just dont know the recipe.

   please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone, who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is no known cure for those who deserve a punch in the face,

   Well, now that K-State and Kentucky have lost (as did Kansas and Villanova)... and considering Obama had them ALL in his "Final Four", it's pretty safe to say that this just adds to the things he's WRONG about.

   There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.”

   believes you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress”

   Got bit by a mental patient tonight at work. This may be my last message that makes sense, as I am starting to believe the CIA is watching everyhting I type and that these voices are pretty cool to hang out with.

   whoever said Kentucky can beat an NBA team needs to go hide under a rock..

   Wife came home from shopping, I asked her why she had to spend over £100 on makeup. She replied "It's so I can look pretty, why do you have to waste so much money on beer". I told her it was to make her look pretty. Had to sleep on the sofa that night.

   wishes mean people would go live on the planet Uranus.

     You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,

   you can polish a turd but it will always be a piece of sh*t

   make sure you get all the bubbles out of the syringe....

   moving to the country and gonna eat me a lot of peaches

   How many mimes have died because no one believed they were choking..

   just realized that you are supposed to urinate on jellyfish stings......not jellyroll stains....sorry fat stranger!!!

   My girlfriend has a cracking body. .... I think it's eczema.