Funny Status Messages

   I don't like to think myself as 'Special' I like to think myself as limited edition

   Finally at my _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡

   Some Women say they spend alot of money on makeup to make them look pretty, they also say we spend alot of money on beer but what they dont know is that its also to make them look pretty.

   She was looking through the Chinese phone book earlier. There are so many Wings and Wongs. It must be so easy to Wing a Wong number.

   Ladies if another girl steals your boyfriend, there's no better revenge but to let her keep him

   73% of men don't know what a cookie is. But 99% know how to delete them.

   has the brains of a horse and is hung like Einstein.

   The fact that I can buy a song while on the toilet using my phone means no one is really working on cancer, are they?

   If I was a pirate, instead of having a stupid hook for one hand, I'd upgrade to some cooler attachments, like a blender, maybe a small cannon, some hedge trimmers etc.

   Tito must be taking relationship lessons from Van Damme

   The world`s thinnest book entitled `What Woman Want has only one word written in it,""Everything"!

   thinks Captain Planet and the Planeteers need to go save the Gulf of Mexico.

   You know what's horrible? Accidentally seen your parents "doing it". I will NEVER go to THAT website again!

   33% of married women say their pet is a better listener than their husbands... 67% of pets say this crazy lady won't shut the hell up...

   I'm scouring the periodic table for the element of surprise. I'm more anxious than the AZ Governor in a Cinco de Mayo parade.

   histogram - n. 1. A greeting card from ones gynocologist. 2. A cracker for a teacher of history.

   if at first you don't succeed, won't hurt to smoke some weed

   contemplating the mysteries of universe, like the meaning of life, the workings of time, and whether of not Wang Chung was demanding or requesting that "Everybody Wang Chung tonight." The world may never know.

   I'm so exhausted from my French self-defense course. I've never had to run so far in all my life!

   ``I'd rather turn this club into a bar room brawl. Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in a bathroom stall.''