trump Funny Status Messages

   My factory job was shipped to China, my new job can't pay the Bill's, I can't afford college and my current government blocked my healthcare. But I always vote for Trump so everyone gets a gun. That's important to me!

   Know why Trump doesn't wear glasses? He has 2020 vision.

   I'm at the World Series game and they showed Trump on the big screen. All I could hear was boos and "lock him up" chants, lol

   Donald Trump to Queen Elizabeth: "You did a great job on Bohemian Rhapsody! Great song."

   Today is the Navy's and Tiffany Trump's birthday. Guess which one Trump only acknowledged? The wrong answer is Tiffany.

   It looks like Turkey did take Trump's economy threat seriously. Gee, what a surprise.

   I started a new drinking game. I drink a shot everytime Trump tells the truth. I've been sober for 2 years now.

   Trump: “a great leader like me always keeps his opponents iin the dark”. Also Trump: “I think I’ll tweet a dozen times about my China trade strategy and exactly how it’s working”.

   My buddy was playing a drinking game where he’d take a shot of whiskey every time Trump lies. His funeral is Tuesday.

   Donald Trump announces huge border wall with Canada to prevent Melania from pouncing on Justin Trudeau.

   The news is so fake. Trump University is still active and running stronger than ever.

   Sorry I was so happy about David Koch kicking the bucket. Next time I'll try and be more tactful, like Trump was when McCain died.

   Trump was chosen to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, but he couldn’t go because of bone-spurs.

   Trump is basically King Solomon, but stupid. He can’t think of a solution to the country’s problems, so he just divided it in two.

   So, Trump says he's the second coming of Jesus. Cool, that won't make God angry one bit.

   Denmark says they're going to loan Greenland to Canada just to mess with and piss off Trump.

   Trump has been under investigation for two years. None of his enemies has committed suicide.

   Anyone who thinks Donald Trump represents God has a very low opinion of God.

   Able to lose $250 Million dollars in a single year. It's a bird, no, it's a plane, no, it's Donald Trump!

   A 30 second super bowl ad cost 5 million dollars. Trump said that's crazy, 30 seconds only cost me 130 thousand.