snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   Cryogenics is nothing new. My landlord has been freezing our bodies every winter for years.

   I worry about ridiculous things. You know, how does a guy who drives a snow plough get to work in the morning? That can keep me awake for days.

   Sorry your winter coat is getting more action than you are this spring.

   After all the eating I have done this winter, I am happy to report my flip-flops still fit.

   I gained so much Winter weight, I had to go buy a pregnancy test just to be sure

   In the future, imagine how many Go-Pros will be found buried under snow in the mountains containing the last moments of people's lives...

   The Farmer's Almanac predicts a mild winter, a dry summer, and no sex for me until at least 2026.

   The snow storm is way too white, I think it's time to boycott.

   I hope snow storm Jonas doesn't bring his other 2 brothers

   Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.

   I froze my balls off this morning. It is so cold I am not even going to go find them. They can stay there until the snow melts.

   I was beginning to wonder if the winter's directly before a presidential election year were all warmer than usual due these lie spuing politicians and the amount of hot air hey were expelling.

   The deep freeze of winter has finally arrived. It's that time of year when most women and Bruce Jenner say thank God for padded bras.

   UGGS, The winter equivalent of Crocks. You approach me with Uggs, I'll assume you're a mental patient.

   Winter is coming. Women about to steal your heart and your hoodie.

   Too bad the Kardashians drove off into a snow ditch and not off a cliff....

   I love when people comment on my winter weather from warm climates... "It's 80 here" and your inside on the Internet? Losers always lose

   Breaking News :: the groundhog says 1 more week of WINTER

   As soon as I get finished with this dozen donuts and gallon of chocolate milk, I am going to focus on losing the 20lbs I added this winter

   should we say 15 more days of WINTER or 15 more days until SPRING ?