I don't know if I Should be mad at you or my phone.. because when you called me under "Restricted" my phone didn't use your specific ringtone. so now I'm stuck talking to you!!"
there is a midget in line in front of me at the Walgreens. He has a bag of pork rinds and a box of condoms...my question...which one do you think was the impulse buy?
not sure we're using this internet thingy properly. He just Googled 'Partridge Family Theme Song Lyrics' and got 97,000 pages that had them. Seriously? He thinks one page is quite enough. Maybe 2, for a backup in case one goes down.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what I do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, I draw the line. I'm sorry but I just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dear Beer,I forgive You for abandoning me during tough times during the week, I love You for coming back on weekend and will French kiss You, till sobriety do us apart!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me -- they were cramming for their finals!