santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I am such a thoughtful Lad! I bought my ex a chair for Christmas. But the power company won't let me hook it up.

   Dear Santa, I don't want anything for Christmas except for the person reading this to have an amazing Christmas.

   Santa is an unfair a$shole, He gives the more expensive gifts to the wealthier kids!

   Dear Santa, I was framed!

   Christmas was best when I used to believe in Santa Claus... I wanna be 19 again.

   No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a sword.

   If you were walking through the Mall today and saw me sitting in Santa's lap , it isn't what you think .

   Birthdays then- 'Wow! Look at all these presents!' ... Birthdays now- 'Wow! Look at all these notifications!'

   Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is SethMacFarlane and his Evil Genius.....and an Occupy Wall St. Family Guy!

   If you wake up with a weird taste in your mouth on Chrismas morning, just remember that Santa only comes once a year...

   That scene in Boogie Nights when Julianne Moore says "C*m on my t!ts, if you can, OK?" epitomizes what the holidays are like with my family.

   Dear Santa, I didn't want to make it too hard for you this year, so, the only thing on my list this year is 1 year paid leave from work. with bonus

   All I want for Christmas is you...hit by a bus!

   The ads on the right-hand side of my screen are for Meth-awareness, 'Get Yourself Tested' & Buy or lease a new Hummer this Christmas...Great so, Facebook has catagorized me as a disease-infested, drug-loving slut that dosen't care about the environment???

   The ads on the right-hand side of my screen are for Meth awareness, 'Get Yourtself Tested' & buy or lease a Jaguar this Christmas...So, Facebook has catagorized me as a disease-infested, drug-loving sl*t that needs a car & dosn't care for the environment.

   dear santa, I found the shoes I want, text me for my size

   Mariah Carey grew to hate Christmas. After she recorded all I want for Christmas is you, she only gets a house full of relatives now.

   gonna buy a real tree sometime this week, hope it doesnt end up like amy winehouse, dead...5' 6 and surrounded by needles by christmas...

   At Christmas time it's fun to take a new Lexus for a test drive, put a big red bow on it & pull into random people's driveways honking.

   Supreme Court rules no Nativity scene in DC!!! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States Capital this Christmas season.