santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Not feeling the Christmas spirit? Go elf yourself!

   So apparently when you get pulled over around Christmas and the cop asks "Do you know why I pulled you over sir" The incorrect answer is "You know how important of a person I am and you figured this would be the only chance you would get to wish me a Merr

   Those starving without shelter in Africa would be glad to know Americans make houses out of delicious food during Christmas time.

   Feeling poor and full of cookies. You can tell it's Christmas.

   I call dibs on his armored train for Christmas!

   uncertain of what the etiquette is here, I got Kim Jong Il's name in Secret Santa.

   Decided this year I'm replacing the milk and cookies tradition with manly reach around. Just to see if that would get SANTA'S attention.

   Santa is that a toy in your bag or are you just happy to se me..

   i guess its getting time to do my christmas shopping,i will go to the dollar store for my big gifts and from there I will come back home and see if I can find somethings around the house that they havn't seen in awhile.

   For xmas my wife is getting SWIFFA so she can have fun while cleaning too.!!!

   With the weather being the way it is, the only way you could have a white Christmas is if Santa brought you cocaine.

   Nothing like a dysfunctional family trying to function for the Holidays.

   Dear Santa, I promise to be good next year… ;)

   Amazing,,, that all the xmas gifts I bought today were made in china ,,like what are the odds on that ..!!!

   I realized Santa wasn't real; when my toys had "Made in China" on them.

   Got my favorite Christmas movie, A Christmas Story, from my in-laws for my birthday. I was shocked that the DVD version is abbreviated to 90 minutes. I always thought it was 24 hours.

   Got a copy of The Christmas Story today...I was surprised they edited the DVD down to 96 minutes...I always enjoyed the 24 hour version of the movie

   December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas. Some insist on a shirt; others a pair of socks, and the argument always ends in a tie.

   Santa I was not naughty, I was merely thinking outside the box!!

   Wow! Only seven more shopping days until it's Christmas! I wish that I could afford to buy each and every one of you a very expensive, extravagant gift! I wouldn't, but do I just wish I could afford to, if I wanted.