Condoms hidden, plates and dishes washed, toilet tissue put in dispenser, fruits bought, bed made, bathtub washed, house cleaned and vacuumed, gospel music playing, TV turned on to CNN. MY PARENTS ARE VISITING IN AN HOUR AM SET!!
Fun idea: No kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. When you get home later that evening, go mental and ask where the child has gone.