love Funny Status Messages

   What Meatloaf wouldn't do for love, I'd probably do for a Klondike bar.

   I love science too. But not enough to warrant profanity.

   Shut your legs love, I can smell your issues from over here.

   Just dropped a cigarette between my car seat & the console & now I know what Courtney Love feels like when she's trying to find a good vein.

   I love you so much I'll eat this pizza to prove it.

   I love you all and I am so glad I found you. (me talking to a bag of peanut M & M's I forgot I had

   You women are beautiful creatures I love you all , but by god you scare the sh*t out of me with the way you feed on souls and happiness.

   Let me win your love so I can earn your hatred.

   Make sure you love each other for your pleasant personalities coz when the looks are gone its what you will have to live with for the rest of your lives.

   "Dad, how did you fall in love with mom?" "Well, son, long story short I saw her picture on Instagram and it was love at first...filter."

   I love riding my red Mustang into work,,, but I am tired of people complaining about horse crap in the parking lot.

   I love yoga pants as much as the next guy, but now I also know that my sister has a great ass.

   If you're having a bad day, remember that somewhere in the world, someone willingly got a Nickelback tattoo. And they love it.

   Ours was love at first fight.

   If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.

   I'm on the "I love food more than I love exercise but I love naps more than I love food" diet.

   Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like God came down and highlighted all the important parts.

   No one will ever love you as much as your dog loves your stinky feet

   I love how some people ignore the train wreck that is my life and actually try to ask me for advice with a straight face.

   If you can't handle me on Facebook then you definitely don't deserve me at my best! Wait...this is my best!!! Guys, please love me.