Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5400 of 6446

What does it mean when a girl calls you 2 or 3 times every single day? I mean aside from the fact that she works for MasterCard™.

Just read that California leads the nation in depression cases and adultery. ....What a sad state of affairs.

"Heaven is where the Police are British, the Chefs are French, the Mechanics are German, the Lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss.
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12-19-2010 11:53
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Try this, the next time your friend is drunk, switch his/her mom's number with their girlfriend/boyfriend's...
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12-19-2010 11:37 by Kelevra
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- Why is it that if a guy proposes to a girl and she's refuses it's called 'wanting her freedom' and when a girl proposes to a guy and he refuses, it's called 'being scared of commitment'. =|
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12-19-2010 11:32 by BeeTee
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Ctrl+V...Ruining every sense of originality since its invention.
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12-19-2010 11:15 by Kelevra
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OK Santa I followed your stupid rules all year...it was hard not killing anyone or punching anyone in the face but I did it.....so If Milla Jovovich isn't under my tree this year you'll be first on the hit list Fat Man!
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12-19-2010 10:55
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I've Decided To Get MARRIED :All Women May Now FORM AN ORDERLY LINE...... .. Only The Most Beautiful Or The Very Rich Women Need Apply . . Please Send Me A Private Message With Your Photo or A copy Of Your Bank Balance ,The Winner Will Notified By email
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12-19-2010 08:41 by Danny
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wonders if vampires feed on diabetics when they feel like having candy!
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12-19-2010 08:36 by Tarwadi
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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA
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12-19-2010 03:20 by 420
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I don't care who you are, fatso, get that sleigh, and those reindeer, off my roof!
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12-19-2010 03:19 by ichy1234
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Santa better take me off the naughty list or I will black out the moon on Monday night.
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12-19-2010 00:41 by MikeM
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Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing been complaining?
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12-18-2010 22:37
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Just drank a sugar free, caffeine free, soda. I'm so happy that they finally found a way to bottle nothing but nasty aftertaste.
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12-18-2010 22:28
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Am I the only one that flips back and forth like a little kid when I discover 2 radio stations playing the same song?

Doin the same thing I do every night...Try to take over the world!

If I had a dollar for everytime that I wished I had a dollar......
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12-18-2010 21:09
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My Girlfriend told me to help her find a job that shows off her best qualities. I got her an application for Subway.
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12-18-2010 19:31
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Word to the wise... Sending an engagement request to your girlfriends facebook is not a good way to propose

thinks spell check is for the week