Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5360 of 6374
Dear Scissors, I feel your pain... No one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin.
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12-06-2010 15:47
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I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
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12-06-2010 14:59 by Aaron
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Go to Google Translating tool. From English to French, translate "Take a Dirty Picture for me." Then Copy and Paste back into the box the French words and Translate from French to English.
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12-06-2010 12:33 by Kelevra
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.♫♪♫..it's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas...♫♪♫
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12-06-2010 12:33
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If you have an album in your facebook photo page, titled...WeDdInG pHoToS!!!! You my have been too young to marry.
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12-06-2010 12:08
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ADHD. It's like ADD except the picture quality is phenomenal.
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12-06-2010 11:47
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It's so cold I actually saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets...
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12-06-2010 11:42
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Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.
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12-06-2010 10:33 by AlliB513
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Unbeknownst to most theologians, there were actually four wise men. But he was turned away for bringing a fruit cake..
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12-06-2010 09:42
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Oooooooo the Patron.....yesterday my friend, today my enemy...
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12-06-2010 08:56
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says change your birthday on facebook to todays date, and see how many of your "friends" are totally clueless
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12-06-2010 08:46 by Yaj
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likes the Hide button so much that he is now working on one for the laundry.
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12-06-2010 07:14 by markf
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wants to point out that real men don't sparkle.
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12-06-2010 06:58 by markf
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I know alcohol is never the answer, but it's always my best guess.
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12-06-2010 03:14 by Just_Me
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Why hasn't Sears made a riding vacuum cleaner?
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12-05-2010 23:59 by Sarah
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"Oh, the weather outside..... is the weather......"
Update on my diet....its December and so far this year I've lost 12 months!! I would like to thank the website I found that allows me to purchase Cadbury mini eggs year round!!
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12-05-2010 22:19
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I wonder how many fries are eaten every year between the drive thru window and the parking lot exit.
Has just been kidnapped by a fat man in a red suit and put in a bag, ALRIGHT! FESS UP! Who put me on there Christmas list?
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12-05-2010 20:38
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it just me or everytime someone says "and one time" you are thinking "at band camp" in the back of your head...
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12-05-2010 20:14 by Dimples
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