Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5216 of 6373
Looks like the forecast for the week is scattered school days.
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01-31-2011 08:35
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Sometimes I wonder if my homeowners insurance will cover the destruction my 3 and 5 year old can do in a short period of time, I look at the mess and think to myself- Had an F5 hit my place- at least the debris would be in my neighbors yard
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01-31-2011 08:12 by SEAN
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Life Lesson 585: I should write a book about things not to say: Like, it is very unwise for someone to tell a lady struggling with a diet that they would actually loose 10lbs by shaving their back hair. The doctors tell me I should be able to walk again
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01-31-2011 08:12 by SEAN
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Don't wish me a good day, I was looking forward to having a bad and taking it out at YOU!!!
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01-31-2011 07:57
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Confucious say, "Women's panties not best thing in life, but next to best thing in life."
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01-31-2011 06:32
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Some things are meant to be just once in a life time. -Sincerely, One Night Stand
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01-31-2011 06:19 by Aj
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What's 69+69? Dinner for four.
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01-31-2011 05:21 by Dopey420
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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
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01-31-2011 05:18 by Dopey420
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What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger.
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01-31-2011 05:01 by Dopey420
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What does OJ have that every man wants? A Heisman trophy and a dead ex-wife!
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01-31-2011 04:59 by Dopey420
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If a mime shoots you, must he use a silencer?
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01-31-2011 04:56 by Dopey420
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Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two fifty, go figure.
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01-31-2011 04:52 by Dopey420
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Ok, my friends list is now exactly at 1.000 people! I'm not adding anymore. New request will be forwarded to the Hosni Mubarak's facebook page, because the poor guy has 0 friends!
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01-31-2011 00:09
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closer than he appears in your rearview mirror.
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01-30-2011 23:35 by Brett
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It's not a mood if your always in it... Then it's just your personality.
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01-30-2011 23:18
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Word: Drama Definition: a complete and total waste of my time.
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01-30-2011 22:21
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The Bipolar smiley face :): (dr brown )....
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01-30-2011 21:57
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Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
Dear LOL, Thanks for being there for me when times get awkward. Sincerely, I have nothing else to say
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01-30-2011 21:48
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Women are like Parking spaces.. all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped!! :)
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01-30-2011 21:41
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