Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 512 of 6452

Yeah, no, sorry. Not gonna do "My Corona." - Weird Al Yankovic
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03-19-2020 08:16
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Ran out of T.P. and discovered Pledge furniture wipes. Now my pants won't stay up.
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03-19-2020 08:09
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I've decided that throughout this Coronavirus ordeal; especially to those at home practicing Social Distancing, the term "calories" regarding all foods shall now be referred to as "Boredom Alleviation Points."
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03-19-2020 07:11 by Fazzy
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We all need to join together and practice social distancing.
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03-18-2020 22:09
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If this really turns out to be the end of days there are a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses that I owe an apology to.
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03-18-2020 20:37 by Klh
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2020 must-have downloaded something from Limewire!!!
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03-18-2020 16:43
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Flights so low I got Bible study in Jerusalem tomorrow
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03-18-2020 16:36
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China 🇨🇳 Just Released The Name Of The Person Who Had The First Coronavirus.. Ah Chu
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03-18-2020 15:42
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I'm a magician. An overweight magician. My most famous trick is putting on a Speedo and having it disappear instantly.
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03-18-2020 12:23 by Fazzy
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A priest rabbi and a nun walk into a ...Nevermind. Bars closed.
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03-18-2020 12:13 by DJJackson
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Yeah, losing St. Patrick's Day was sad. But damn, it was truck month.
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03-18-2020 11:41 by TheGoon
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St Patrick's Day resulted in the least DUI's ever.
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03-18-2020 10:11
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The reason stores are running out of toilet paper is because when one person sneezes the other 100 poop themselves. ‬
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03-18-2020 10:09
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I started homeschooling today. So far two students are suspended and the teacher was fired for drinking on the job...
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03-18-2020 09:32 by Gabe
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I’m really liking this social distancing rule. Can we make this law?
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03-18-2020 08:56 by Bob
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I have a sore throat, a headache and a dry cough. We all know what that means. I'm never buying weed from Alowishus Jackson again.
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03-18-2020 06:20 by Fazzy
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Forget the stocks. What's the market looking like on truck stop blowjobs? Competition is through the roof.

I'm so old this is like the 10th time they said the world was going to end, and somehow I've always survived.
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03-18-2020 00:17
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Whelp I think I stocked up on enough coffee to hold me over for the next 3 years, but does anyone have a little milk for it I can borrow?
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03-18-2020 00:09
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Want to hear a coronavirus joke? Don't worry you wont get it.
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03-17-2020 17:55
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