Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I’m so hungry, I could eat a buttered monkey

   Before we die of corona, anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me?

   Whelp, it looks like another day we're not going to cure the coronavirus with our Facebook posts.

   Schools getting cancelled left n right indefinitely? At this rate, I feel sorry for Classof2020 our babies gonna graduate on FaceTime

   I don't take responsibility for how I handled the Coronavirus situation. Instead, I'll blame it all on Obama.

   Dear landlord and Bank,I have suspended all payments to my accounts due to Corono virus outbreak .

   public bathrooms are so cleaned and stocked up with toilet papers now

   All those unmatched socks are gonna finally be put to good use with the toilet paper shortage going on.

   Wash your hand long enough to pray

   UMMM maybe we should of had stronger border restrictions

   All professional sports are cancelled, and we aren't supposed to touch ourselves. Men who don't play video games are gonna have a lot of time to kill this weekend.

   I'd rather be quarantined with my family than with the finest people in the world.

   Why is it that the people who say "You don't need 500 rounds of ammunition" are the same people who are buying 500 rolls of toilet paper?

   Went to CVS to pick up a prescription and the receipt gave me enough toilet paper for a week. #Winning_Covid-19

   Coronavirus is cancelling everything but my bills

   I like my Covid viruses like I like my women...19 and spreads easily.

   Norwegian Cruises are offering buy 1 week get 2 free. Use promo code "CORONA"

   Going in like Rambo. No sanitizing wipes and I'm headed into wally world....

   My computer jsut asked me to check my virus protection, which one ?

   Trump: A Brazilian has coronavirus Pelosi and Schumer: A Brazilian oh my God how many people is that????