Funny Status Messages

   now we're talking post below.. funny post finally

   The world all of a sudden feels like a casual stroll through a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit at the end of a busy weekend.

   Check out the hypocrisy in the post below. Whines about no humorous posts, but doesn't come up with a humorous way to do it.

   not even a virus outbreak can help yall come up with good stuff

   Day #....idk....of staying home and everything is great! even though I don't know what day this is, or how many days I've been awake, or if I can eat these flowers?

   So when do we start the old people offerings to the Dow — I believe he's the brother of Zeus and Poseidon — God of the Economy & Bailout Bonuses?

   I love that ordering delivery now feels like helping the country & rebuilding the economy whereas before it just felt lazy & financially irresponsible. #WednesdayThoughts #SaferAtHome

   Remember laughing at Michael Jackson wearing mask and gloves. Now you all out here looking like you wanna be starting something.

   I've absorbed so much disinfectant and soap that when I pee I clean the toilet

   Last night was amazing out dancing and singing with all my friends together celebrating the end of the Coronavirus!....until our garbage truck outside woke me up :/

   Whoever said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store clearly lied. Everyone else had clothes on.

   I guarantee there's a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks 'Covid' would be a lovely name for their child.

   Animal rights activists are currently looking for rabbits to volunteer for vaccine testing.

   Day 4 without a shower. I hope stink kills the virus!

   One of the hazards of sheep farming must be trying to stay awake while taking inventory.

   I’ve got your stimulus package right here.

   This quarantine got me thinking… What did our parents do to pass time before the Internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and none of them knew either.

   All of us are tools to some degree. It's just that some are jackhammers and some are 1/4" nut drivers.

   This isolation was getting to me, so yesterday I decided to go jogging. Big mistake. My thighs kept rubbing together and my legs caught on fire.

   Face timing people vs seeing them in person during this virus thing is the same as eating pu$$y with a balloon on your tongue.