Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 505 of 6446

Gas is only a buck a gallon and we're not allowed to leave our houses...
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03-19-2020 14:34
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Honey that posted this below dont lie to these folks, you never did have a 401k, hell you never worked a day in your life.
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03-19-2020 14:01
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Don't see why everyone is hording toilet paper for.... it does have 2 sides
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03-19-2020 10:53 by Migasjoe
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Today's drink: The Quarantini. It's a regular martini, but you drink it alone in your house.
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03-19-2020 10:26
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Ladies, if you're over 50, you may wanna rethink the cowboy hat. It's terrifying.
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03-19-2020 08:58
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I’m gonna tell you something right now, tis not the time to have allergies.
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03-19-2020 08:28
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Lori Loughlin is wondering how the Coronavirus got into Princeton and her kid didn’t.
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03-19-2020 08:26
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I saw those Italy videos of people singing in Italy so I started singing to my neighbor and one lady told me to shut the *&^% up
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03-19-2020 08:20
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Yeah, no, sorry. Not gonna do "My Corona." - Weird Al Yankovic
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03-19-2020 08:16
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Ran out of T.P. and discovered Pledge furniture wipes. Now my pants won't stay up.
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03-19-2020 08:09
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I've decided that throughout this Coronavirus ordeal; especially to those at home practicing Social Distancing, the term "calories" regarding all foods shall now be referred to as "Boredom Alleviation Points."
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03-19-2020 07:11 by Fazzy
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We all need to join together and practice social distancing.
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03-18-2020 22:09
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If this really turns out to be the end of days there are a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses that I owe an apology to.
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03-18-2020 20:37 by Klh
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2020 must-have downloaded something from Limewire!!!
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03-18-2020 16:43
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Flights so low I got Bible study in Jerusalem tomorrow
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03-18-2020 16:36
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China 🇨🇳 Just Released The Name Of The Person Who Had The First Coronavirus.. Ah Chu
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03-18-2020 15:42
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I'm a magician. An overweight magician. My most famous trick is putting on a Speedo and having it disappear instantly.
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03-18-2020 12:23 by Fazzy
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A priest rabbi and a nun walk into a ...Nevermind. Bars closed.
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03-18-2020 12:13 by DJJackson
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Yeah, losing St. Patrick's Day was sad. But damn, it was truck month.
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03-18-2020 11:41 by TheGoon
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St Patrick's Day resulted in the least DUI's ever.
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03-18-2020 10:11
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