Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Fake Christian below.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 20:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon idiot post below
←Rate | 03-27-2020 19:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I toilet papered my house last night. It's now worth 1.4 million.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 16:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once this corona tension is over....will take 7 days break and rest at home.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 13:38 by raman911 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's a Kleptomaniacs favorite band? Take That
←Rate | 03-27-2020 12:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Should marijuana be legalized? Let's have a reefer-endum.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 12:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hey you the atheist below please move on
←Rate | 03-27-2020 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Literal Cheesy Pick-Up Line: Excuse me, are you Swiss? I'd love to check out your holes.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 10:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The person who said "One person can't change the world" obviously never ate an under-cooked bat.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 10:43 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Day 7 of quarantine: I haven’t showered for weeks
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon panicked at the grocery store and came home with a pineapple
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, if you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My current diet is similar to a 9yr old who just found $20.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here, hold my drink. Ruining this is going to take both hands.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of saying “I’ll use the wheelchair ramp,” I like to say “I’m hitting the slopes.”
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:44 Comments (1)  


   messageicon me: WTF all the shelves are empty sales guy: yeah this is Ikea
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The opposite of isolate is yousoearly. Please don’t block me.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cannot stop thinking about how the director of Con Air’s previous directing credit was 10 years earlier and it was the music video for Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon day 1 of quarantine: I have stockpiled 1200 tubes of yogurt day 2 of quarantine: my kids have just finished the last of the yogurt
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [stuck at home] son: omg so bored daughter: omg so bored wife: omg so bored me: omg so bored dog: this is the greatest day of my life
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:43 Comments (0)  




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