Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   CONSEQUENCES OF TODAY'S MODERN LIFE STYLES: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Your kids and my kids are beating our kids!

   I Haven't been to church in a couple years, sure hope I don't catch on fire........

   If I ever die because of marijuana, mark on my grave, “I am too stoned to get up!”

   going rabbit hunting

   Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

   Never judge a girl by her makeup!

   I am risen today too... if it lasts for more than 4 hours, I need to go to the ER though.

   I like to bury my huevos every day, not just today

   ♫Just let your soooouuuuul glow baby, feeling oh so silky smooth. Just let it shine through yeah. Just let your soooouuuul glow oooo....(Soul glow) ♫

   Cooking up some hasenpfeffer. Thanks Easter Bunny, bawk bawk.

   If I'd have been in Jerusalem when Jesus had risen from his tomb, I'm pretty sure I'd have been the only idiot to poke him with a stick and yell out "The Zombie apocalypse has begun!"

   Every time I bite the ears off of a chocolate bunny only to find out it's hollow, I feel ripped off.

   Okay ladies, here is the deal, we will stop talking about masturbation if you stop talking about your period. Fair trade.

   Happy Easter to all of my Chicks and Peeps!

   Painting beer cans for later.... Happy Easter!

   I do more drinking before 9:00 am than most people do all day.

   Happy Easter Yolks!

   If I dont see you this Easter, Hide your own balls

   Too many hollier than thou people with no sense of humour around.

   Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs. Happy Easter!