Friday Funny Status Messages

   Why are we supposed to give special treatment to Black Friday, i'm just gonna come out and say it #ALLFRIDAYSMATTER

   Why the hell don’t liquor stores have Black Friday sales?

   2 days ago: ''We must help solve poverty here first and foremost!'' Today: ''All right! Black Friday is coming!''. Morons

   Black Friday challenge: Buy American and buy small business. Otherwise you're complaining for nothing about big business.

      In honor of it being Friday the 13th, whenever I hear a strange noise, I'm going to investigate it braless, and wearing cute panties.

   I had no idea it was black Friday in Baltimore.

   If you watch Friday the 13th backwards, Jason's machete is a magic wand that brings kids back to life and sends them to summer camp...

   Friday the 13th might be an unlucky day, but when you live in the land of bacon, badasses and bald eagles, every day is a lucky day....... ‪#‎America‬

   Just what is DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME and Why are we saving so much of it? Why can't the time change kick in on a Friday at 4pm?

   JUDAS: "Still on for friday?" JESUS: "Friday?" JUDAS: "Yeah, you know, the Last Supper" JESUS: "The what?!?" JUDAS: "the Supper, just the Normal Everyday Supper"

   The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I'm going to drink tonight.

   I think it's logical to hate the player, without players there would be no game and I would have a date for Friday night

   on this very day 125 years ago it was also a Friday TGIF

   I just read an article that Black Friday in Ferguson was a smash hit....

   Celebrating "Thank-The-Lord-That-Stupid-Brown-Thursday-Black-Friday-Cyber-Monday-Marketing-Crap-Is-Over" Tuesday.

   I don't know why they need a whole month, they get the busiest Friday of the year

   This Taco Bell breakfast taste like I don't get paid till Friday.

   Black Friday: The day you spend hundreds of dollars on possessions to celebrate the birth of a man who didn't believe in possessions.

   if you don't already hate people, black friday shoppers is a great way to start.

   I'm astounded at how fast my "I survived Ebola" t-shirt got me to the front of the Black Friday lines this year..