Friday Funny Status Messages

      In honor of it being Friday the 13th, whenever I hear a strange noise, I'm going to investigate it braless, and wearing cute panties.

   I had no idea it was black Friday in Baltimore.

   If you watch Friday the 13th backwards, Jason's machete is a magic wand that brings kids back to life and sends them to summer camp...

   Friday the 13th might be an unlucky day, but when you live in the land of bacon, badasses and bald eagles, every day is a lucky day....... ‪#‎America‬

   Just what is DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME and Why are we saving so much of it? Why can't the time change kick in on a Friday at 4pm?

   JUDAS: "Still on for friday?" JESUS: "Friday?" JUDAS: "Yeah, you know, the Last Supper" JESUS: "The what?!?" JUDAS: "the Supper, just the Normal Everyday Supper"

   The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I'm going to drink tonight.

   I think it's logical to hate the player, without players there would be no game and I would have a date for Friday night

   on this very day 125 years ago it was also a Friday TGIF

   I just read an article that Black Friday in Ferguson was a smash hit....

   Celebrating "Thank-The-Lord-That-Stupid-Brown-Thursday-Black-Friday-Cyber-Monday-Marketing-Crap-Is-Over" Tuesday.

   I don't know why they need a whole month, they get the busiest Friday of the year

   This Taco Bell breakfast taste like I don't get paid till Friday.

   Black Friday: The day you spend hundreds of dollars on possessions to celebrate the birth of a man who didn't believe in possessions.

   if you don't already hate people, black friday shoppers is a great way to start.

   I'm astounded at how fast my "I survived Ebola" t-shirt got me to the front of the Black Friday lines this year..

   Take it easy this Black Friday, (try not to trample anyone to death) because it isn't supposed to look like a riot you idiots... Shop online like a real modern American!

   Orange is the new Black, so....Have a great Orange Friday

   Black Friday shopping is unnecessary when you already did your shopping on looters Tuesday.

   BLACK FRIDAY, when people trample others for cheap goods mere hours after being thankful for what they already have