Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   According to ABC news the mission to assassinate Osama Bin Laden was carried out by a unit so secret their existence cannot be verified....THE A-TEAM IS BACK!

   I think Osama will be the next Megatron

   Enjoying a new drink called the bin laden. 2 shots and a splash of water

   Damn Osama! First the Seals..........now the sharks!

   I really hope Osama didnt have a twin brother! ......#worried

   looks like Bin Laden's episode of Cribs didn't go that well

   I just read where the SEAL team that popped Bin Laden was based in Virginia Beach. So his big surprise at the end wasn't 72 virgins, it was 24 Virginians. Adios you ahole. Tell Saddan we send our regards and save a spot at the table for Gaddafi.

   Wow, I bet Bin Laden wishes he never completed his Census Form....

   Best part about the death of bin Laden... It got the media to shut up about the stupid Royal Wedding.

   Be honest with yourself, deep down inside, is there anyone of us that doesn't desperately want to be "dead last"?

   In his last act of terrorism, Osama Bin Laden is blowing up my facebook newsfeed.

   And then it hit me... For years we have had the "#2", "drop a deuce", "talk to a man about a dog" and "drop the kids off at the pool"... Now I proudly introduce... "Hey guys, brb... I gotta go bury a Bin Laden."

   I just spilled an entire glass of water on myself. Saddest wet t-shirt contest ever. Good news is... I won!

   Food for thought: The guy that wanted to destroy Western civilization, lived in a mansion, near a golf course, drank both Coke and Pepsi products while urging his followers to blow themselves up. No word yet on what was on his iPod.

   It's a dog eat dog world...In case you didn't realize before hand...I eat puppies for breakfast.

   ✓ Adolf Hitler, ✓ Saddam Hussein, ✓ Osama Bin Laden, ☐ Mother-In-Law

   I had a thought......Maybe instead of defunding Sesame Street, we should defund Pakistan. F them losers!!

   Breaking News from Bikini Bottoms... Sponge Bob Square Pants has issued a HIGH Terrorist Alert. Reports coming in that Bin Laden has been spotted sinking around Mr. Krabs underwater mansion... More on this breaking story later...

   just downloaded this Lebron tone for my phone but I can't hear it cuz it doesn't have a RING!

   Now that Bin Laden is polluting the Arabian Sea, I hear the sharks have declared "Jihad!"