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80 million all in one lump sum??? Where do I sign up?
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01-07-2020 09:45 by
MelaniaTrump
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I learned years ago, never trust a weather guesser. You learn that quickly when you have to shovel 8 inches of partly cloudy off your driveway so you can go to work. LOL
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01-07-2020 06:42
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You have no idea how many windows you have until someone is working on your gutters.
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01-07-2020 06:36
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Have you read the Dr. Seuss book about an elephant at a rock concert? Its called "Horton Hears The Who."
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01-07-2020 06:35
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I don't believe I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this without being on any medication.
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01-07-2020 06:35 by
Fazzy
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Does any one want 200 broken triple A batteries? There's no charge.
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01-07-2020 04:54
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I bought some new "London Bridge Jeans" They keep falling down.
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01-07-2020 04:53
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Like a blind man in an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through
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01-07-2020 00:38
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Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to keep on my toes.
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01-07-2020 00:38
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I'm tired of girlfriends treating me like a god, as in only call on me when they need something and ignore me the rest of the time.
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01-06-2020 19:44 by
Moon
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My supervisor said I'm worth my weight in gold so I'm eating these donuts to increase my value.
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01-06-2020 14:35
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I can't find my "Gone in 60 Seconds" DVD. It was here a minute ago.
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01-06-2020 13:51
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January is the month that people are most likely to be fired — especially if you’re an elf.
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01-06-2020 06:36
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I'm sick of people contradicting me when I insist that there IS such a thing as an emotional support lasagna.
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01-06-2020 06:18 by
Fazzy
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*The only differance between brown nosing and butt kissing is depth perception.
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01-06-2020 04:37
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Today is January 5. I still have quite a lot of last-minute shopping to do.
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01-05-2020 15:54
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I'm so excited as Justin Bieber has a new single out!.....just seeing who my real friends are.
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01-05-2020 10:05
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Accidentally typed Sybian instead of Simba and let me tell you Disney themed p 0rn does not screw around
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01-05-2020 09:50
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Saw Little Women. Totally misleading title. They stayed normal-sized the whole time. 2 stars.
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01-05-2020 09:30
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I don't care how old I am. If a toy says "Try Me" on it, I'm pushing those buttons...
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01-05-2020 09:10 by
Gabe
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