Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4832 of 6382
says when a woman ask "what did you say?", she heard it, but she is giving you a 2nd chance to say it right
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06-03-2011 11:13
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when a woman ask "what did you say?", she heard it but she is giving you a 2nd change to say it right
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06-03-2011 11:12
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Apparently Anthony Weiner has too many photos of his junk to keep track of..
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06-03-2011 10:05 by jrbirk
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Ev1 says it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean, well I ain't never seen no small ship make big waves!!
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06-03-2011 09:44 by Nat
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I always ask myself WWJDD? (What Would Johnny Depp Do?) That seems to work for me.
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06-03-2011 09:38 by Jim Sikes
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Thankfully, I don't suffer from homophobia. I do however, suffer from homophonia (irrational fear of words that sound the same but have different meanings).
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06-03-2011 09:36 by Jim Sikes
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Dr. Jack Kevorkian can finally get those pesky patient opinion surveys filled out!
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06-03-2011 09:31 by Jim Sikes
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I bought the new Kurt Cobain Bobble Head doll....but now the d@mn head keeps popping off it.....
hanging up her spoon after a hard days s*it stiring.
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06-03-2011 08:46
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Why am I able to walk for miles with no problem, but as soon as I look for my house keys, I start doing the pee-pee dance?
instead of "lol", try "lsimhbiwfefmtalol"... laughing silently in my head because it wasn't funny enough for me to actually laugh out loud.
The sex is better when they don't belong to you.
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06-03-2011 08:16
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Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say "I don't know, lets yahoo it"....Sincerely Google
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06-03-2011 08:05 by AC
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Teach me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.
Trust is like an eraser, smaller after every new mistake
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06-03-2011 07:46 by Fred
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Here is a episode for mythbusters....once you go black ,do you never go back?
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06-03-2011 07:28 by Hdwking
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Anybody got a recepie for cicadas?
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06-03-2011 06:40 by Steve OH
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I want a BANG. "Bright Attractive Non-Nagging Girl."
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06-03-2011 05:32
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I wonder how many of my friends are one night stand babies!
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06-03-2011 05:17
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I dont see how you can hate one night stands when you owe your existence to a one night stand yourself.
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06-03-2011 05:16
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