Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4809 of 6446

I honestly think that women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
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06-30-2011 13:10 by RoN
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3 dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks.To be as rich as his child believes.To have as many women as his wife suspects
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06-30-2011 13:10 by RoN
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God made us all different. But when He got to China He thought...to hell with it... Copy, paste, copy, paste

Some idiot just bought MySpace for $35 million. That has to be an Antiques Roadshow record!

If the replies you get from text messages consist of only one word, take the hint.

If you're only interested in me when I'm ignoring you, I'm about to become irresistible.

TODAY IS THE DAY HELL FROZE OVER....I got to work at 815am...enjoy the cool breeze!
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06-30-2011 12:20 by melb
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Thinks Meatloaf,KORN,& Limp Bizkit, Should Do A "DINNER TOUR"!
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06-30-2011 12:07 by p0lel0ck
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starting up a dating website exclusively for pyromaniacs. I shall call it "Mymatchbook".
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06-30-2011 10:52
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at walmart and apparently didnt get the memo for wife beater(uundershirt) day
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06-30-2011 10:38 by whiteboy
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Call me childish, but I can't help chuckling to myself whenever I see a senior citizen point at something using their middle finger.
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06-30-2011 10:38 by punkie
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S.H.I.T. So Happy It's Thursday!!!
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06-30-2011 09:28
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kids are like farts, I can barely stand my own let alone other peoples

My girlfriend called me a pedophile! I was shocked! That's such a big word for a 5 year old
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06-30-2011 09:17 by Yaj
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I wish we could google how a certain person feels about us.

Be careful when getting on Facebook! Side effects may include; mood swings, constant crying, finding love, tired fingers, loss of friends, divorce, it's complicated, loss of time, starving family, dirty home, and too much drama!!!
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06-30-2011 08:14
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You know youre really upset when you find yourself blasting music from Taylor Swift
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06-30-2011 07:15 by Fox
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Doesnt it blow your mind away that 2011 is already half way over?
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06-30-2011 07:13 by Fox
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I want you to know something but I dont want to tell you so I'll let the first three words of this sentence explain it
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06-30-2011 07:11 by Fox
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Love is like a rubberband. We keep pulling, someone lets go and the one who held on gets hurt
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06-30-2011 07:07 by Fox
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