Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I honestly think that women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:10 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3 dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks.To be as rich as his child believes.To have as many women as his wife suspects
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:10 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon God made us all different. But when He got to China He thought...to hell with it... Copy, paste, copy, paste
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some idiot just bought MySpace for $35 million. That has to be an Antiques Roadshow record!
←Rate | 06-30-2011 12:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the replies you get from text messages consist of only one word, take the hint.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 12:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're only interested in me when I'm ignoring you, I'm about to become irresistible.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 12:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon TODAY IS THE DAY HELL FROZE OVER....I got to work at 815am...enjoy the cool breeze!
←Rate | 06-30-2011 12:20 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks Meatloaf,KORN,& Limp Bizkit, Should Do A "DINNER TOUR"!
←Rate | 06-30-2011 12:07 by p0lel0ck Comments (0)  


   messageicon starting up a dating website exclusively for pyromaniacs. I shall call it "Mymatchbook".
←Rate | 06-30-2011 10:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon at walmart and apparently didnt get the memo for wife beater(uundershirt) day
←Rate | 06-30-2011 10:38 by whiteboy Comments (1)  


   messageicon Call me childish, but I can't help chuckling to myself whenever I see a senior citizen point at something using their middle finger.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 10:38 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon S.H.I.T. So Happy It's Thursday!!!
←Rate | 06-30-2011 09:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon kids are like farts, I can barely stand my own let alone other peoples
←Rate | 06-30-2011 09:20 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend called me a pedophile! I was shocked! That's such a big word for a 5 year old
←Rate | 06-30-2011 09:17 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish we could google how a certain person feels about us.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 08:50 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful when getting on Facebook! Side effects may include; mood swings, constant crying, finding love, tired fingers, loss of friends, divorce, it's complicated, loss of time, starving family, dirty home, and too much drama!!!
←Rate | 06-30-2011 08:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know youre really upset when you find yourself blasting music from Taylor Swift
←Rate | 06-30-2011 07:15 by Fox Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doesnt it blow your mind away that 2011 is already half way over?
←Rate | 06-30-2011 07:13 by Fox Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want you to know something but I dont want to tell you so I'll let the first three words of this sentence explain it
←Rate | 06-30-2011 07:11 by Fox Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is like a rubberband. We keep pulling, someone lets go and the one who held on gets hurt
←Rate | 06-30-2011 07:07 by Fox Comments (0)  




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