Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you're listening.

   Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he's being told where to deliver the ransom money.

   If after many drinks she still looks ugly put a flag on her head and do it for your country.

   To the anonymous person that keeps sending all that damn porn to my phone.. get a new phone with a better camera please! :)

   You know what is really sad? When the only thing smart about some people is either their mouth or their phone.

   There needs to be more "damn it I missed my exit" exits.

   when does lindsey lohan turn 27?

   Why do I feel like the garbage can in my house is a game of Jenga & nobody told me we were playing??

   No you stupid assassins! I said BIEBER, not WINEHOUSE

   In life, there are three things you should not break: a heart, a promise, and a condom!

   hears....Amy has now joined Betty Ford in her clinic...w​ait...It's​ been relocated.

   n't it ironic... Amy Winehouse's debut album was called Frank. Maybe she should have talked to him!

   Dear Bruno Mars, dont die for that b*tch, obviously if someones throwing grenades at her she's involved in some illegal sh*t.

   The thermostat outside ran out of numbers and is just showing a picture of Halle Berry. THAT'S how hot it is outside.

   There's too much emphasis put on winning in life. I'm just trying for a participation ribbon.

   Amy Winehouse Making the recession worse for drug dealers since 2011

   I knew someone would have to do it but I didn't know it would be someone so famous! Amy Winehouse had to take her own life just so people on fbook would talk about something other than the weather! You all are to blame for this!!

   Hard to believe Amy Winehouse "vapor locked" today....I always thought that heroine, speed, crack and booze were part of the 4 basic food groups.

   I'm shocked. Amy Winehouse look like she would last 2 weeks more at least, with no worries.

   When people stutter I have a really bad urge to shout "REMIX!"