Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Workin' hard or hardly saying anything original?

   I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.

   Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.

   Don't you hate it when people just randomly tag you in their Facebook post!?

   Casey Anthony not guilty, Troy Davis being executed...Everybody Hates Chris but Everybody Love Raymond..smh..who says it ain't bout color ?

   I'm going back to the social network I enjoyed as a kid. It was called "outside".

   was in a public toilet at the home depot and suddenly had an urge to confess my sins ... but the guy in the next stall wouldn't quit laughing.... how inconsiderate....

   If You Use Pinesol in A Pine Forest Is It Unscented?

   Dear Facebook: I'm appalled that the free service that I am in no way obligated to use keeps making changes that mildly inconvenience me :)

   Everytime I enter a porta potty I feel like I have to confess my sins..

   didnt Mark Zuckerberg learn anything from Tom Anderson? the changes to myspace is what killed it

   I think facebook is a teenager...its going through alot of changes lately

   going to Facebook's HQ to do a cmmd + Z....be back in a sec

   Sorry - But I am already married...but thnx for the offer;)

   I hate you. I only do you because I have to. Plus, you smell funny. Anybody else hate doing the laundry?

   Just Saw A Baby Wearing A Shirt That Says, "Not Everything Stays In Vegas."....

   Your so fat you look like you deep fry your hands before you bite your finger nails LoL

   the Facebook redesign isn't nearly as bad as when Facebook redesigned all the hot girls from my high school into middle aged over weight fatties.

   Bees are a good example of Karma; once they sting someone… they die

   Guy asked girl "Does the carpet match the drapes?" she says, "Nope, hardwood floors"