love Funny Status Messages

   I was going to post a story about how I used to love drinking gallons and gallons of iced tea in the 80's. Then I realized, no one wants to hear me complain about the freezing temperatures outside..

   I love running my fingers through my girlfriend's hair. It's also a great way to let her know we're out of napkins.

   Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything

   Why drown in love, when you can swim in lust ?

   First time I married 4 love. I've learned my lesson. Next time it's all about sex and money, but mostly sex.

   I show people I love them by not spending time with them. It’s the best thing I can offer.

   Love isn't real until one of you is on meds.

   Call me crazy, but I want more. More sex, more love, more LIFE.

   On Christmas my brothers and sisters come over with all their ADHD kids, they all really love my Amphetamine Apple Pie!

   I went to Jared for my girlfriend's Christmas gift. I'm sure she will love her Subway gift card.

   I imagine love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then Listening to it over and over again till you hate that song."

   Kanye West knew it was love at first sight the moment gazed deeply into Kim Kardashian's big brown mirrored sunglasses.

   Where is the Love? Discrimination and Homophobia, do you know how many of our children committed suicide because of this? What if it was your child? Born This Way

   pizza is the only love triangle I want

   It’s cute how some people still believe in love and happily ever after.

   I always try to see my relatives with love and affection during the Holidays. When I can't I try to see if there is more Bourbon available.

   I wish someone loved me as much as white women in commercials love yogurt

   People who say marriage is only between a man and a woman underestimate my love for pizza.

   I love Instagram's new direct messaging feature because I've always thought, "If only this picture of someone's dinner was just for me."

   I can't decided if I'd rather see him naked or on fire. Is that love?