Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Some Leaders say: "Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions." God says: "Bring me your problems, I AM your solution!"
←Rate | 11-02-2011 10:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judge William Adams I hope you go to Fedral Pound you in the Butt Prison
←Rate | 11-02-2011 09:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Nonexistent" is my new favorite word. It describes so many things about my life!
←Rate | 11-02-2011 09:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forgive me Twitter, for I have sinned. It has been 6 hours since my last tweet, and in that time I had thoughts I didn't share.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 09:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it's consistency you're shooting for, it's pretty simple to disappoint all of the people all of the time.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 09:08 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a good chance that any empty can you see rolling along the sidewalk is just Patrick Swayze's ghost learning how to move objects.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 09:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't deal well with good-byes. I'm better with good-riddances.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 09:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon im hungry like a homeless fat guy that made his home out of wafflehouse menus...
←Rate | 11-02-2011 09:02 by b u b entertaining Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worlds economy is in a terrible state, the Ice caps are melting, the Rain Forest is being destroyed and now apparently Justin Bieber has reproduced. Can things get any worse?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 09:02 by nb Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which is worse news this AM, Justin Beiber might have a love child or Herman Cain's believes China doesn't have nukes?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 08:48 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont know what Is more amazing, that this girl thought she was Justin Beibers first, or the miracle of one girl knocking up another girl.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 08:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice that those who have nothing on the inside, are the one's that are the most preoccupied with what is on the outside?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 08:04 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one ever explained the rules of Facebook poking. You can use it to poke a girl if you like her.. Or what if I poke another guy, it's like saying " hey homeboy , what's up?" hopefully he wouldn't it take it as a " hey homeboy, what's up buttercup :)"
←Rate | 11-02-2011 07:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I read 600,000 facebook accounts get hacked in a day... I must be lucky - I get a free ipad 2 just by entering my password and credit card information.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 06:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Muppets took over WWE last night. In other news, Dora the Explorer is refereeing MMA Octagon Thunderdown
←Rate | 11-02-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1-800-You~Wish.....To chat with hot, sexy girls in your area you'll never see or touch.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 05:05 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't like black and white films, they remind me to much of news pappers.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 03:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've seen 4 people go from "in a relationship" to "single" today...yep, it's definitely no shave November.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 03:30 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is going to start making high school reunions really awkward."John! I haven't seen you in ten years! Wow, what have you been up to since that nap you took at 3 o'clock this afternoon?"..
←Rate | 11-02-2011 03:06 by g0r\" Comments (0)  


   messageicon i could of been ur dad but ur mom didnt have change for a dollar
←Rate | 11-02-2011 02:37 by Eddy Comments (0)  




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