Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 4304 of 6440

   messageicon If people could read minds and two people were reading each other's mind, so wouldnt they be reading their own mind reading the opposite mind reading their own mind reading the opposite mind ..............
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:37 by Muzammil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: What would happen if the earth rotates 30 times faster? A: Men would get their salary everyday and women would bleed to death.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:36 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things a pedophile might say: “On a scale of 1 to 10 how old are you?”
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon doubling his calorie intake to gain weight, and all this is doing is making me drop quatros instead of dueces.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:18 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't say that I'm really a bad dancer more like....overly Caucasian.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon (don't)Touchdown(there), Penn State!!
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:07 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎45% of the internet is pornography. 55% of the internet is lame.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:02 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which is scarier, faceless kittens or faceless babies? And what's in ketamine?
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:01 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: In a new Marital Sex Survey, women have reportedly faked all their answers ....
←Rate | 11-13-2011 08:15 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out that button in the elevator with the fireman's hat on it... is not the button you push if you want a fireman's hat.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 07:56 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a very busy Sunday planned today......Watching football and Nascar while converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. ツ
←Rate | 11-13-2011 07:53 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Karma is like a 69, you get what you give.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 07:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a member of the CSI - “Can't. Stand. Idiots.”
←Rate | 11-13-2011 07:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Paris Hilton was a super hero she would be called Wonder why your famous woman!
←Rate | 11-13-2011 07:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just had honest talk with self. Not a bad fellow, knows a lot about me. Should consult him more often.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 05:46 by lohungrob Comments (0)  


   messageicon HER: "My feelings for you changed soon as you called me a b!tch" ME: "My feelings for you changed soon as you started being one"
←Rate | 11-13-2011 04:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did Bella choose Edward instead of Jacob??? Cause Edward can still go down on her even if it's her time of the month
←Rate | 11-12-2011 23:59 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking.......We should be able to text 911, in case were hiding from a cereal killer and don't want them to hear us. 0.o
←Rate | 11-12-2011 23:54 by nastiya Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hmm, I should throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.
←Rate | 11-12-2011 22:52 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Isn't it amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're leaving?"
←Rate | 11-12-2011 22:41 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left