Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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If people could read minds and two people were reading each other's mind, so wouldnt they be reading their own mind reading the opposite mind reading their own mind reading the opposite mind ..............
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11-13-2011 09:37 by Muzammil
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Q: What would happen if the earth rotates 30 times faster? A: Men would get their salary everyday and women would bleed to death.
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11-13-2011 09:36 by Czovczov
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Things a pedophile might say: “On a scale of 1 to 10 how old are you?”
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11-13-2011 09:34
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doubling his calorie intake to gain weight, and all this is doing is making me drop quatros instead of dueces.
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11-13-2011 09:18 by Bob
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I wouldn't say that I'm really a bad dancer more like....overly Caucasian.

(don't)Touchdown(there), Penn State!!

45% of the internet is pornography. 55% of the internet is lame.

Which is scarier, faceless kittens or faceless babies? And what's in ketamine?

BREAKING NEWS: In a new Marital Sex Survey, women have reportedly faked all their answers ....
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11-13-2011 08:15 by Bob
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Turns out that button in the elevator with the fireman's hat on it... is not the button you push if you want a fireman's hat.
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11-13-2011 07:56 by Czovczov
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I have a very busy Sunday planned today......Watching football and Nascar while converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. ツ

Karma is like a 69, you get what you give.
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11-13-2011 07:37
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I'm a member of the CSI - “Can't. Stand. Idiots.”
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11-13-2011 07:16 by Czovczov
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If Paris Hilton was a super hero she would be called Wonder why your famous woman!
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11-13-2011 07:16
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Just had honest talk with self. Not a bad fellow, knows a lot about me. Should consult him more often.
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11-13-2011 05:46 by lohungrob
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HER: "My feelings for you changed soon as you called me a b!tch" ME: "My feelings for you changed soon as you started being one"
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11-13-2011 04:06
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Why did Bella choose Edward instead of Jacob??? Cause Edward can still go down on her even if it's her time of the month
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11-12-2011 23:59 by Eddy
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thinking.......We should be able to text 911, in case were hiding from a cereal killer and don't want them to hear us. 0.o
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11-12-2011 23:54 by nastiya
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Hmm, I should throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.

"Isn't it amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're leaving?"
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11-12-2011 22:41
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