Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 427 of 6446

Anybody else having a problem with theit Good Year tires pulling hard to the left???
←Rate |
08-21-2020 13:38
Comments (0)

Spoiler alert. It's sour cream
←Rate |
08-21-2020 10:06 by JAB
Comments (0)

.. To make sure they will arrive on time, I'm mailing my Christmas cards now.
←Rate |
08-20-2020 22:58 by Oldtimer
Comments (0)

If men are stronger than women, why do men in Video Games need full plate armor and a woman only needs a chainmail bikini?
←Rate |
08-19-2020 19:22
Comments (0)

I want to find a woman that speaks in Cliff Notes.
←Rate |
08-19-2020 17:06
Comments (0)

If you ever see me jogging, please kill whatever is chasing me...
←Rate |
08-19-2020 15:09 by Gabe
Comments (0)

Clear something up for us, Cardi B. Is it your @ss or your pu$$y that's wet?
←Rate |
08-19-2020 09:07
Comments (0)

USPS: Never mail cash or valuables. Dems: The USPS is safe and secure.
←Rate |
08-18-2020 11:43
Comments (1)

Why does sour cream have an expiry date?
←Rate |
08-17-2020 23:46 by Oldtimer
Comments (0)

I'm not buying a 2021 calendar until I see the trailer. Not gonna get me again

Betcha Slick Willie Brown has Kamala nude pics on cell phone
←Rate |
08-17-2020 15:46
Comments (0)

I never thought I’d reach a point in my life where my hands have consumed more alcohol than my mouth.
←Rate |
08-17-2020 15:09
Comments (0)

I didn't hit you... I high fived your face

If Kamala is such a ho, why can't I find any nude pics of her on the internet, unlike a certain someone I know?
←Rate |
08-17-2020 10:58
Comments (4)

"How about a scarf?" - Johnny Depp's stylist every day!
←Rate |
08-17-2020 08:39 by Truman
Comments (0)

Based on the amount of laundry I do, I'm pretty sure there are people living here that I haven't met yet...
←Rate |
08-17-2020 08:24 by Gabe
Comments (0)

Bought some prescribe pills to improve my memory. But I keep forgetting to take them.
←Rate |
08-17-2020 02:14 by Oldtimer
Comments (0)

They should change the name of Facebook to “whineonline”
←Rate |
08-16-2020 16:12
Comments (0)

If we don't stop socializing to slow the Coronavirus we need to start thinking about what kind of world will leave behind for Keith Richards.
←Rate |
08-16-2020 15:37
Comments (0)

The further a society
drifts from the truth,
The more it will hate
those who speak it...
←Rate |
08-16-2020 11:23
Comments (0)