Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4231 of 6387
I've found "the more the merrier" to be a dangerously inaccurate cliché.
Yelling "I DIDN'T INVITE YOU IN" doesn't work on spiders but it will freak out twilight fans.
"Love me tender." - pirate describing his fondness of breaded chicken
I'm in Wisconsin for two more days which should be just long enough to lose enthusiasm for existence.
I think it's time for me to pick something to care about.
Wrote a screenplay called "Primal Justice" about a high dollar lawyer gorilla torn between his code of ethics & his lust for power/bananas.
Bacon. The word alone deserves its own status.
in the dictionary everything starts with e.
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11-18-2011 09:01
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Whenever I worry I've been wasting my time on FB, I cheer myself up by remembering I have never seen a Twilight movie.......
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11-18-2011 08:57 by sully
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says If you're going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
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11-18-2011 08:45
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patiently waiting for the day when I need to set the alarm on my clock to wake up in the morning.
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11-18-2011 08:42 by JackieM
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Notice seen outside a Church: Please do not leave your Purse/Watch/Handbag/Mobile/Girlfriend/Boyfriend unattended. Others may think it`s an answer to their prayers.
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11-18-2011 08:05
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As Ole Fred Sanford would say, "You big dummy".
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11-18-2011 05:00
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If you're going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
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11-18-2011 03:18
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changing seats on a bus may change your view... but not your destination
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11-18-2011 03:13
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Can't believe that Facebook won't let me set my relationship status to “in a relationship with myself”.
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11-18-2011 03:10
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Pretending you're the host of a cooking show, when you're home alone cooking.
If you plan your own birthday party, you really don't have that much to celebrate.
My definition of clean living is mixing my Jack and Coke with my pinky since it's touched less gross stuff than my other fingers.
Oh lord, give me patience and inner peace because if you give me strength, I might just punch somebody in the face.
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11-18-2011 00:58
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