Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I've found "the more the merrier" to be a dangerously inaccurate cliché.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yelling "I DIDN'T INVITE YOU IN" doesn't work on spiders but it will freak out twilight fans.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:16 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Love me tender." - pirate describing his fondness of breaded chicken
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in Wisconsin for two more days which should be just long enough to lose enthusiasm for existence.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:11 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's time for me to pick something to care about.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wrote a screenplay called "Primal Justice" about a high dollar lawyer gorilla torn between his code of ethics & his lust for power/bananas.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bacon. The word alone deserves its own status.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the dictionary everything starts with e.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I worry I've been wasting my time on FB, I cheer myself up by remembering I have never seen a Twilight movie.......
←Rate | 11-18-2011 08:57 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon says If you're going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 08:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon patiently waiting for the day when I need to set the alarm on my clock to wake up in the morning.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 08:42 by JackieM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Notice seen outside a Church: Please do not leave your Purse/Watch/Handbag/Mobile/Girlfriend/Boyfriend unattended. Others may think it`s an answer to their prayers.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 08:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As Ole Fred Sanford would say, "You big dummy".
←Rate | 11-18-2011 05:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 03:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon changing seats on a bus may change your view... but not your destination
←Rate | 11-18-2011 03:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't believe that Facebook won't let me set my relationship status to “in a relationship with myself”.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 03:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretending you're the host of a cooking show, when you're home alone cooking.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 03:06 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you plan your own birthday party, you really don't have that much to celebrate.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 01:08 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My definition of clean living is mixing my Jack and Coke with my pinky since it's touched less gross stuff than my other fingers.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 01:00 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh lord, give me patience and inner peace because if you give me strength, I might just punch somebody in the face.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 00:58 Comments (0)  




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